Loved one on Diet pills and pain meds

[raven68red]

SWIM asked me to say this on his behalf....

This is my very first post so here goes.
I don't really have anyone to talk to and am hoping someone can help me. I need someone to back me up so I don't think I am overreacting or going crazy.
My husband has a very addictive nature. Years ago it was pot and alcohol. He quit pot and even quit drinking several times. 7 years one time and now has been sober about 2 years.
6 years ago I had 3 major surgeries to remove my colon, so I have to take some pain meds. I have a very high tolerance so 100 Darvocets can last me 4 or 5 months. I don't have that nature. Alcohol, I can take it or leave it, don't really care one way or the other. And pain meds, I have to be in a lot of pain to take a pill. He different. Pills are an answer for everything for him. He's overweight some so he is on prescription diet meds. I have taken them too and they work great, but you have to take them as prescribed. He has taken just about all the brands and every time, he takes more than he should. He has a bad back so takes pain meds. He needs them, but again takes more then he should. He used to steal mine when his were gone in the first week of the month. I now have all meds locked in a safe and the keys around my neck. I need someone to tell me how dangerous it is to take too much of these meds. He's taking Didrex for weight loss. If the dose is 3 a day, then after 4 days you would have taken 12. He's taken 26. Pain meds, he was dosed 4 10/325 Percocets a day, has taken 5, 6, 7, and more. Usually he would run out with 2 weeks left. Now on Oxycontin starting today so I am dosing them out for him. He also takes anti-depressant, anti-anxiety meds as well.
How dangerous is this? My thinking is that several of these are respiratory type drugs and too much could cause you to stop breathing.
Please help! I am on the verge of taking the kids and leaving. I can't stand the lies and sneaking around just to take more than what was dosed.
Thanks for your time.
Raven

[Richard_smoker]

wow. this is a difficult situation for sure.

i wish i could tell you something to make it all better, but alas i think you're pretty abreast of what's going on.

i will tell you from experience that the darvocet's are very VERY close to being placebos. i mean, sure they have SOME very minor effects on mood but nothing like the percoset or oxycontin.

From what I know about Didrex, it's one of the 'preferable' prescription diet aids...meaning that it is supposedly similar to speed. However, i'm not so sure that doubling his dose of them would necessarily be worthwhile of you leaving and taking the kids with you.

I don't know how aware you are of the nature of pain-pill (oxycontin & percoset) addiction, but this is really where you should be focusing your resolve.

It is not uncommon for someone (ANYONE) with a history of drug abuse or alcoholism or ANY kind of prediliction to drugs to become completely and 100% mentally & physically addicted to opiates. Both percoset and oxycontin have the same primary ingredient--oxycodone. it is a powerful opiate and you should be aware that he (or anyone really) could become severely dependent on this drug.

you should be aware that frequently when someone becomes heavily dependent on painkillers like these, they will take a whole month's worth of pills in less than 2 weeks, sometimes less than 5 days.

Talk to him. Confront him about his lies. Confront him about your desire to leave him and take the kids. Give him a chance to come clean... if he will hear it, you should give him a chance to get off the drugs. NO ONE wants to discuss this topic, especially not if he's an addict. But sometimes the truth hurts. I can assure you that there are very few back-pain conditions that opiate pain killers will actually HELP. Usually the pain pills only serve to make the pain worse and the pain is usually nothing more than an excuse...unless he has an unstable vertebral bone or a ruptured or fragmented disc--in which case, he needs surgery.

Pain pills are frequently misused in this manner. And they are almost always NOT necessary. I hope you find this information helpful. please come back with any further questions on drug use and addiction. -DICK

[raven68red]

Thank you for your reply. Unfortunately he has been to the pain management centers and they say because it is degenerative surgery is not an option and all you can do is manage the pain. What the doctors give him is fine and I truly think he needs some, but should not be taking more than the dosage provided. We talk about this every month and every time it seems like it will get better but it doesn't. He is okay with me keeping them in a safe and only I have the key so I am now dosing them out as the doctor would. My concern with the diet pills are the excuses of taking more because he didn't sleep much etc. They are for appetite not to stay awake in my opinion. I can't understand why someone would take them all so quickly and then be without any for the last 2 weeks of the month. It makes no sense to me. I don't want to leave, but the lies and the false hope is making me so tired. I came from a very drug abusive home, we married when I was 17 (started dating when I was 15) and still together 21 years later. I love him so much and he has all the qualities of a perfect man with the one drawback, addiction. My kids think everything is fine which makes me feel like I am living a lie. I had ulcerative colitis and had 3 surgeries. All this piled up I feel like I am going crazy. I would love to be able to take some time alone to figure this out, but who can afford that. I don't want a divorce, but I couldn't afford to live on my own if I wanted to anyway. I feel trapped.
Thanks again for your support and advice.

[Herbal Healer 019]

Originally Posted by Richard_smoker

I can assure you that there are very few back-pain conditions that opiate pain killers will actually HELP.

I have to disagree on that.

Opiate pain killers, while potentially addictive, are very effective on both the physical and emotional pain experienced by people with temporary or chronic pain; the latter condition is where addiction can really become a problem.

Whether or not some1 is going to become dependant on their prescribed opiates is entirely dependant on the level of self control that the person with the prescription has, as can be said with MJ, alcohol, or any drug. In my honest opinion, drug addiction is almost entirely psychological, in that there has to be an element of psychological dependance before the addiction can reach the point of physical dependance, & it isn't about how addictive the drug itself is, but rather whether or not the person in question has an addictive personality.

SWIM was prescribed oxycodone & hydrocodone after a broken bone & while he enjoyed the opiate high immensely, he displayed enough self control to only take them while in significant pain.

In this case, however, I agree with Richard_smokers origional statement. Opiate pain killers for SWIraven68red's spouse are simply not an option.

As for whether or not Raven68red's spouse's cocktail of drugs is one that would warrent concern; absolutely.

The combination of drugs that SWIY mentioned (anti-anxiety [benzodiazapines?], opiates, stimulant diet pills, & anti-depressants) is one that is definately strenuous on the liver, kidney's, heart, & psyche and could turn into a potentially fatal situation. SWIY should definately have a heart to heart conversation with their husband explaining their concerns & perspective on the situation at hand. But as with alcoholism or any other form of addiction, dont expect the person to just up and change at the snap of a finger; the change can't be forced, it's got to be voluntary & they've got to be willing to want to change/save themselves.

Good luck

[raven68red]

SWIM asked me to say....

Thank you both of you for the advice. Unfortunately, I don't think he can just not take the pain pills. With his addictive personality and history, I truly believe he becomes immune to milder pain meds. His body has gotten so used to various things over the years. He is 40 years old, lifted weights from the time he was 8 so when he hurt his back and suddenly couldn't lift weights anymore. That really took a toll on him mentally. And what do you turn to when you have that personality and you are upset or depressed? Something to get addicted to. I think the back problem was triggered with a car accident about 5 years ago. He really wanted to have surgery, but no one will do it. They don't think it would help. If you are in chronic pain, you have no choice but to take pain meds. I think sometimes it is hard for me to fathom him being in that much pain. I have a 13" scar on my stomach to show where I have been cut open in the same spot 3 times and I've had 2 kids so I know what pain is. Besides all the tests and poking and prodding when I had Colitis. Even after surgery I only took about 2 perc's a day and I had just had my entire colon removed! Now I take Darvocets maybe once a week and I have to be hurting pretty bad to do that. Not everyone has the same tolerance level I guess.
I truly think he tries. He is the one that asked me to buy the safe to keep them in and dose them to him so that is a good step in the right direction. As long as he keeps trying then I will try to keep being strong for him and help him. We talk about it all the time and he is very sorry and doesn't want the family broke apart. Some days it is so hard and I'm just exhausted. I have been through so much of my own stuff, it is just too hard to deal with someone elses too. You know what I mean? We will forge on though. Pray for us to make it through this. Maybe some day we can look back and say those were some tough times but we made it through.

[Richard_smoker]

wow...i didn't realize that it was his idea for the safe. I think you're warranted to be concerned for him, but so long as you're controlling the pain meds, i think this can be a good situation (considering!).

just out of curiosity, what kind of time course is expected for the diet pills? as you might know, taking any kind of speed CAUSES anxiety... getting off the diet pills will likely allow him to greatly reduce (or even eliminate) the anxiety meds. I'm assuming that he's on xanax or valium or klonopin or ativan. these are all tranquilizers and serve him no purpose other than to 'even out' the edgyness from the diet pills.

once he gets off the diet pills, you can get his doctor to try him on buspar for anxiety. it's not a tranquilizer or sedative, and it's non-addictive. it takes a week or 2 to really kick in... and as far as i know, it IS compatible with antidepressants. but sooner or later, you're going to have to help him realize that mixing uppers and downers and opiates and antidepressants can be a DEADLY COMBINATION! seriously. -DICk

[raven68red]

He takes Oxazepam (Serax) and has for years. He has always had an anxiety issue as long as we have been together, 21 years total. He had to work the night shift for many years just because of anxiety so when the doc gave him that medicine it was like night and day. And he has never abused the anti-depressants or anxiety meds. These were started way before the back issues and weight problem. So far the last few days since our major talk and with me controlling his dosages, it is going very well. He does see the doc every month (we both do together since we are losing weight together) and I trust the doctor, he's great. My biggest concern was the amounts taken at one time. So as long as he doesn't try to pry the keys out of my hands or take a welder to the safe I think we'll make it. We are both very hopeful that when the excess weight comes off that it will relieve most of the pain and so far he's lost about 30 lbs and i've lost 25. We each have about 40 to go.
Thank you very much for all of your help and advice. God Bless.