Has MDMA done this to me?

[Viperik]

SWIM passed this note to me to read to you......

I'm not really good at English but I'll try my best.

I decided to move to a diff country somewhere in Asia. Met some new people.

I was introduced to E; was doing 1/4 [pink disney(?)twin hearts] on three consecutive nights. After that, I was dropping every week (3 times on average)

After a month I've noticed I started to pay less attention on the high and be more aware of my surroundings (ie try to suppress the effects of the drug). Because of that, I slowly started to realize the new friends Ive made were talking badly behind me. I was completely hurt but I ignored it and this went on for a few weeks.

After that, I noticed I developed aspergers syndrome (WTF), paranoid psychosis, and my eyes seems like they are still slightly dilated. I'm hearing whispers of ppl talking badly about me but I'm not even sure if its really happening when I'm all alone in the room. I've become unable to trust ppl even the ones I love. I cant even look straight at ppl's eyes anymore. I feel awkward. I hated being social and when all attention gets focused in my direction, I begin to sweat profusely even when its rly cold.

How could this happen? I've only been doing MDMA for prob 3 months. Was I traumatized by experiences of overhearing friends talking shit about me under the influence?

How would I go about getting my old self back? Ive quit the drug for 2 months now and I have no confidence anymore (even though not to be vain, I get hit on alot so I think I'm not a bad looking guy), my eyes still look crazy like, I have problems interacting with ppl. So bad that I think they think Im a drug addict even when I stopped using.

Note - I noticed when taking E, I dont completely get affected by it but the aftereffects of the drug lasts for weeks (depression)

HELP

[oggy]

MDMA is a nice drug but Swim over done it too. 6 years almost twice a week and he used to feel the same. Exercise helps to chill you out and for focus you could try some nootropics. These things do help with confidence.

Don't do downers they only block the problem out for a while and when you stop it comes back.

[y0ssarianlives]

SWIM has suffered from many of the same symptoms of social anxiety that SWIY is as a result of stimulant abuse; SWIM is beginning to recover after 10 months of abstaining from stimulants and is currently on Effexor, Lamictal, and Methadone for opioid dependence.

Give it time; SWIYS brain needs time to heal. Also, look into cognitive behavioral therapy. This is a great therapy technique that has helped SWIM; SWIY can read up on it and practice some of the techniques ascribed about it.

Also, if a psychiatrist is available where SWIY lives and with SWIY's medical coverage situation, go in to see one and detail SWIYS current symptoms and former drug use and SWIY will most likely be prescribed some sort of mood stabilizer, anti anxiety med, or antidepressant that will help the process of mental recovery.

Good luck brother, SWIM has been in the same situation and SWIM knows it sucks; but time will heal all.

[moda00]

Originally Posted by Viperik

I'm not really good at English but I'll try my best.

swim decided to move to a diff country somewhere in Asia. Met some new people.

swim was introduced to E; was doing 1/4 [pink disney(?)twin hearts] on three consecutive nights. After that,s/he was dropping every week (3 times on average)

After a month swim have noticed he started to pay less attention on the high and be more aware of the surroundings (ie. try to suppress the effects of the drug). Because of that, swim slowly started to realize the new friends one has made were talking badly behind swim. He was completely hurt but ignored it and this went on for a few weeks.

After that, swim noticed they developed aspergers syndrome (WTF), paranoid psychosis, and their eyes seems like they are still slightly dilated. swim is hearing whispers of ppl talking badly about him/her but I'm not even sure if its really happening when swim is all alone in the room. swim has become unable to trust people even the ones they love. swim cant even look straight at ppl's eyes anymore. swim feels awkward. He hates being social and when all attention gets focused in his direction, he begin to sweat profusely even when its really cold.

How could this happen? Swim's only been doing MDMA for prob 3 months. Was swim traumatized by experiences of overhearing friends talking shit about him under the influence?

How would swim go about getting one's old self back? They've quit the drug for 2 months now and have no confidence anymore (even though not to be vain, swim gets hit on alot so I think he's not a bad looking guy), swim's eyes still look crazy like, I have problems interacting with ppl. So bad that I think they think swim is a drug addict even when he stopped using.

Note - I noticed when swim's taking E, he doesn't completely get affected by it but the after effects of the drug lasts for weeks (depression)
HELP

Yes, it is a shitty situation :S But taking pills (which have who knows what levels/doses of MDMA and possibly other stimulants) three times a week for several months is a pretty rough load on body/brain. I am sorry swiy (someone who isn't you, please check rules or ask if one has questions about this) is having these troubles. I sincerely hope swiy recovers over time and finds solutions that help him.

Swim agrees with others who suggest seeing a doctor, psychiatrist, and/ or psychologist and perhaps seeking pharmaceutical and/or cognitive-behavioral intervention, as well as a professional opinion on whether swiy's problems are solely drug-induced, or whether they need to be addressed as separate entities. Big changes such as moving to a new place, betrayal of trust, etc. can also trigger tough emotions or latent illness. And the cycle of anxiety and fear can certainly worsen and perpetuate itself, as can PTSD-like symptoms.

Take care of swiyself and try to remember that it will get better and that this will not last forever. Try to make lists of the common assumptions that swiy has (ie. that everyone is talking about him/her behind their back) and try to consciously change these to more helpful and calming thoughts (it doesn't matter what others think, it is possible I am misunderstanding the situation, I have friends/family that care about me, etc.) and perhaps try to reach out to friends and family who knew you before this rough patch who you know you have been able to rely on in swiy's past?

Others have given good advice, hang in there and see if swiy can't seek some help and other resources to help things get better. While swiy might not be able to "fix" the problem overnight, there are small steps one can take (ie. finding a healthcare professional one trusts, and a therapist or friend one can talk to, meditation or breathwork to help during acute anxiety/panic states, cognitive behavioral work to help change fears and unhelpful thoughts, etc. Sounds like swiy has taken the first step by stopping the drugs and is reaching out for help, it will get better!!