help for a good person who could turn into a monster!

[shanesmith]

Hello everyone

I decided to post to this site cause I need a helping hand with my…. friend he sent me this email today and I am not sure how to respond please help with your comments and suggestions many thanks;

Hi Shane,


I’m a little lost and need some help.

I’ve been doing coke for about 5 years I’m 26yrs old. Initially it was just every month or two. Then for about 2years it was every weekend any my family and friends noticed weight loss and me obviously not behaving in a normal many, anyway they got worried anyway eventually I stopped doing it so frequently I’m not sure why that reason I don’t remember I think it was cause business was bad well anyway business went good and for the past two years again I’ve been doing it every weekend between 1-2 grams and on a real good week 5-6gs.

Things started to get noticeable one of my nostrils was hanging down I jitter in bed every so often when I’m sleeping, I forget things after using the drug takes a few hrs after its out of my system to become normal again, anyway again I stopped for a month now I’m doing it again.! Ill be honest I love it!

I cant even drive down the highway on the weekend without stopping off. I don’t think I’m really addicted cause I’ve limited my use to just weekends and Fridays but I just cant seem to stop. (during my first period I was doing it through the weeks and never went to work, however now I’m always at work on time and have got some sort of tolerance to fast recovery and I function ok make a few mistakes with my emails! Moving on..

When i go to a social function or a night club now trying to quit if I’m just having a drink i get restless and I will have go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet for a few min’s cause i just cant seem to stand being there then go back out to the club. I understand that this is probably a side effect but I’m sure as hell thinking that my mind must be dependant upon this drug for me to have fun at places?????

The reason for this email was the other night I tried fantasy because as I am trying to stop doing cocaine I needed a fix and couldn’t get onto my man for the usual so I did Fanta in place of my usual because i couldn’t stand being at this club without some sort of fix. Well the next day i felt shocking and cheap and will never do that fantasy filth again.

People talk about going to drug rehab that could be an option does this work?
Can anyone offer any useful advice?

This is a long email but you need to know other times when I’m doing this drug. Business meetings i have quite a large investment firm in to win over new clients i travel allot and frequently do corporate meetings involve drug use particularly cocaine. What am I suppose to do!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah some other things for some reason now in the past I use to have a great time I’m very quiet these days and when I’m having a conversation I don’t say much cause I sometimes forget some words???????

thanks for listing you probably had a good laugh! p.s. I might sound of my mind but i really am very smart I have my own company employ over 180 staff and i have a exceptionally high net worth for my age so please don’t think I’m some junkie i see this as a hurdle which can be overcome with some guidance.

David.

[moda00]

Yes, sharing an email should be just fine.

It does sound like there have been some negative impacts of the cocaine use for your friend, he just needs to decide (sounds that he has decided) to stop. However, I know that often one will go through a phase of liking the drug use- not necessarily wanting to stop the actual drug use- but wanting the negative effects on health, personality, friendships, etc. to go away. One has to learn that these are linked in order to successfully get sober imo, so while one might not want to stop using cocaine per se, for an addict it is usually the only way.

Also, physical dependence develops faster with some drugs with daily use, but cocaine is very reinforcing and it is very possible to be addicted even if not using daily, just weekends, etc.

I would recommend your friend definitely try some sort of therapy- whether his area has an outpatient program, an individual therapist or group therapy, etc. It is important to have people to be honest with and to support one through this process. Also, NA, secular recovery are options which some people really enjoy and find helpful- many conventional inpatient/outpatients are based on NA/AA principles to some extent and some will require or request swiy attend meetings anyway.

It is also important to find something else to fill the place in one's life that coke occupied. Physical exercise, new friendships and hobbies, journaling, yoga, a pet, etc. can all help- the little things add up, one must just break it down into manageable chunks or else recovery seems quite a large and daunting task.

Inpatient/Residential is also a good option, especially if one has health insurance and the finances to do it. It can really help to get away from one's usual settings and be in an environment totally away from coke and focused on overcoming the addiction and self growth. Different things work for different people, but start trying a few things out, take it slow and steady, and don't be afraid to ask for advice/support. Hope your friend is well, best of luck and keep us posted.

I am also working on a wiki of different treatment options so that may be of use, I'll post a link when it is complete.