advice needed urgently by bloke in something of a pickle!

[h.]

Hello. I had a poor year last year. I was a heavy drinker either way, then my band split up, my girlfriends dad died, my dog died, I got a massive promotion and shortly afterwards my assistant at work, and best friend, got dragged into the wheel arch of a bus which carried him 2-odd miles down the road. I was 2foot from him.Those of you in the uk made have heard about this in the national media as the "bendy-bus" incident round about the beginning of last october (2007). When I found him, his face and front of his torso worn pretty much torn off, and his organs were smeared up the tarmac. Following a brief psychotic episode i went into alcoholic overload (minimum 4bottles of wine per day), lost my job and promptly had a nervous breakdown. Having been given terrible advice from police doctors at the time ("oh, a weeks course of temazepam should help you sleep...") I've been bouncing around various institution, rarely getting the understanding i think i require, i got dry by myself (horrible, shakes, hallucinations, the lot...oh, and my girl couldnt take it and dumped me!) 3 time after relapsing on the booze, and have now found a sympathetic psychiatrist who has given me a 10-day course of librium to help me out, but could have to wait up to a year for psychotherapy/counselling. I have pre-morbid-ptsd, anxiety, insomnia, panic attacks, depression, alcoholism (I made cocktails for a living for for 6 year, i had no chance!) and am often awake for 4-5 days at a time (and boy, is that some trip!). I do 40mg a day paroxetine for anxiety+depression, which helps a little, but stops working when i drink. The only thing that seems to control my urges are benzo's, but docs won't give em to me cause i took a minor overdose of em when i first stopped drinking, so I've bought some over the web from a large, reputable indian company. however, when i've chewed up these 10mg diazepenes they taste of very little, just slighly bitter and a little sweet, can anyone tell me if i may have been stiffed? most drugs ive taken in the past taste very bitter, and i'm so wound up all the time that i hardly notice the effects of these things anyway! Also, any alternatives? Btw , ive been a casual user of coke, e's, ganja, acid, shrooms, mescaline, 2cb, speed and very occaisonally herion since i was about 14, but never habitual, except with the booze. I have quite limited experience of pharmaceuticals, however...until recenty! I'm now 25. Thanks for listening. Enjoy your day! h.

[h.]

*when i said "diazepenes," i'd intended to say "diazepam"*
*also, i'm a sleepwalker, so have very overactive motor function*
*it's more a ploughman's lunch than a pickle really*

[Jatelka]

Hello there h.

Sorry to hear of your lunch-like nightmare, and I cannot imagine what Someone who bought prescription meds over the internet without a prescription must be feeling like.

That wasn't YOU was it? Because that would be illegal (and self-incrimination). It was surely someone you met, or a freaked out marmoset or something?

Unfortunately no-one here can tell your friend whether they were stiffed or not. Bear in mind though, that there have been reports of pharmaceuticals from overseas pharmacies being under-dosed or (God Forbid) another drug entirely.

In terms of the underlying problem, then your friend needs to find a more sympathetic doctor within the wonder that is our glorious NHS. It won't be easy, and I know the waiting lists for talking therapies are long, but substituting one GABA addiction (alcohol) for another by self-medicating with benzodiazepines isn't the answer, although they have their place to play in acute alcohol withdrawal

I hope your friend finds the help they need.

[h.]

Apologies! I, somewhat imprudently, allowed my friend, Prince of the Land of Stench, to use my account, and while i instructed him to read the rules quite thoroughly, my advice was not heeded and he must just have skimmed them. Smelly bugger always was a speed reader!...source of great jealousy to me... however, he is forthwith banned from utilising my account, and having consulted him, his query seems to have answered itself, as he is feeling considerably relaxed this morning... he reckons that a delayed onset was the cause for his concern, and say that while replacing one habit for another is a far from ideal solution, and can in no way be long-term, currently a fuggy head at breakfast is very much a lesser evil than than a massive alcoholic relapse culminating in self-harm, kicking the shit out of parked cars, lamposts etc. and unexplained bruises, sprained ankles, grazes on the head and suchlike. He also thanks you for your prompt response, and sympathetic understanding of the somewhat piecemeal nature of the healthcare system in this country (his words:"Ohhh.. if only I'd gone with BUPA"), and isn't convinced that you're really a bitch at all.
Ta again, ta-ra!

[Politicalchalk]

Everyone take a deep breath. Just trying to look out for a friend is all.

One would assume no guarantees mailing anything from overseas, let alone pharmaceuticals. I'm reminded of people who bought soviet mail-order brides and got blow up dolls. Jatelka is right, if you need 'em cause you have all these disorders and whatnot, see a doctor. As patients, we think we know what's best for our bodies...but the truth is that the Doc knows a hell of a lot more than you do about the subject. Always take it was a grain of salt, but just do what the doc says, they'll steer ya the best course.