the first step- acknowledging problem and quitting cocaine

[katyjay]

Deep down, SWIM has realised for a while that this coke 'habit' has become something darker and uncontrollable. SWIM can't bear the thought of something so sordid, so pointless, dictating over and corrupting everything that SWIM does. This is not the way to live. This is a waste of life.

So tonight SWIM took the first step. A small one, but a significant one. At the end of a 3 night binge, SWIM flushed the last 1/2 gram down the plughole. SWIM feels cross now that it's all gone. But that feeling is the sickness that has to be overcome.

Wish SWIM luck and strength with this battle, and the same to anyone else that finds themselves in this hellish situation. The only way to get out is to stop, now, immediately, with no excuses.

Reputation Comments on this post:

keep your chin up

[blackdb1]

Swim wishes swiy much luck in swiys pursuit of happiness! Swim is currently dealing with addiction and overcoming it but his problem is with opiates. Swim just feels horrible without opiates. He can always get through the physical withdrawal but it is very hard to overcome the mental part.
While swim agrees with what swiy said about quitting with no excuses and now. Swim will say that someone could throw all there dope out and take it on spur of the moment but unless someone is 100% ready to quit they won't be able to do it.
Swim tried many times to quit without being ready and could never stay clean. It wasn't until recently that swim just got sick and tired and quit making excuses for his continued abuse and realised there are no advantages of swims usage other than getting high. It isn't worth sacrificing swims whole life, loved ones, money, freedom, etc. over getting high anymore and never was.
good luck! swim will have swiy in his prayers and promises swiy can do this.

[dcrn]

good for SWIY. Trust SWIM, nothing good comes out of that shitdrug

[methMADMAN]

All the best to SWIY. SWIM personally had to kick the meth demon, but when it comes to intoxicants "a drug, is a drug, is a drug...."

AA and NA worked for SWIM, so don't be afraid to go to them for help, because they make a life's work of it, because for them (SWIU because SWIM is one) we have to.

It is commonly misunderstood but SWIY has taken their first step:

Originally Posted by Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text

1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable

The part that is misunderstood is that many people think it is admitting weakness and saying SWIY doesn't have any power over doing drugs and therefore are not responsible. That is totally untrue. From the day SWIY took that first hit of whatever it was or first drink, to the present day, SWIY has always had control over what SWIY puts in SWIY's body.

What SWIY doesn't have control over is the way SWIY reacts to it. Some people are just unable to control it, and while some might say it's a weakness, SWIM personally finds that those with this "weakness" often have other strengths far greater than so called "normal people". One of those strengths is great emotional depth, which perhaps makes SWIU more susceptible.

The best advice SWIM can give SWIY, is to try and avoid all mind/mood altering chemicals. Just because SWIY is off the coke doesn't mean you cant get in big trouble with another drug or with alcohol. SWIM personally always fell back on pot thinking; "hell it's harmless right?" Fact is it always led SWIM back to meth and I have found that with the help of AA and NA SWIM enjoys life more totally clean and sober and SWIM has a lot of friends who can relate and it's the greatest secret society of people in the world. Don't close your mind to your options please.

SWIM is not saying SWIY needs to go to AA or NA, only keep SWIY's mind open. Addiction is not a "monkey on "your" back" more like an 800# gorilla. It isn't easy to overcome, otherwise, why would so many die such slow lingering miserable deaths in pursuit of pleasure? What SWIM am saying is consider all SWIY's options. Sometimes problems underlying addiction will need to be dealt with. For some it's AA/NA, for some therapy, for some religion, but usually one needs to "fill the hole" in one's life.

The biggest selling point for "the program" for SWIM and I think the thing that most makes it work is it is a large group of people all who have that 800# gorilla, only for the ones who are staying clean, the gorilla is on the back porch doing push ups in case they relapse. It never leaves, it never gets better, and once the pain of addiction has set in, trust SWIM, it's best to put that part of SWIY's life behind SWIY, because SWIY will never be able to use coke "socially" again. But that group of people help teach each other how to live clean. They hang tight and it's a great social network. Keeping "old friends" who still use drugs will almost always bring SWIY back down.

Don't be discouraged too bad if SWIY does relapse a few times, but don't hesitate to reach for help if SWIY does, because it's there, free for the taking. It's not worth SWIY's life, and the ruin SWIY cause in the lives of others on SWIY's way down, to hold on to pride and try to beat something that so many millions die trying to beat on sheer willpower and failed.

All the best, and never give up!

Reputation Comments on this post:

nice to see a basic text thumper.

[katyjay]

since that post swim has managed to keep a curb on swim's predilection for the midnight oils... swim has used, but nothing has used swim. swim has to admit that there are pleasures to be beheld, pleasures and ideas to be explored beyond what swim imagined. sure, these things are deadly, toxic and counter productive. swim had sensed that many times before. but with a little will power, a little rational thought, a lot of fun can be had.

[sweetsugar]

Everything / anything in moderation is swims motto

If ones not willing to completely sober.