who knows about your addiction? (cocaine)

[jeper]

Here is the deal. swim is trying to stay away from cocaine. Swim is not doing very well in that. swim has professional help but the only thing she keeps saying is that swim doesnt HAVE to be there and that swim REALLY wants to quit cocaine before she can help him. He is probably not that far yet. So swim wants to try a different approach. the scary one.

As knowbody knows about this thing swim s put himself into he s starting to think of telling a close friend of his, as his knowing would make swim more obliged not to use again as he doesnt want to fail.

The other thing, when he does tell him the friend finds out how much swim has lied to him in the past as he was trying to cover up his addiction. also swim doesnt want anyone else to know about this secret as its possible the friend would slip his tongue. thats a scary thing, when other people know, start talking about him behind his back and find him a lowlife junk or something like that. Swim couldnt handle the idea...

swim is in such a fragile state right now he couldnt handle a rejection or someone who doesnt take him serious as he confesses this thing of his.

also talking to his family isnt an option, they probably couldnt handle it, are very disappointed shocked and hurt and doesnt know how to respond to the situation. and above all, they arent that close.

So, how do you all cope with this. Do you tell others about your situation? How do they react? Is it a relieve and does it help? How does the family respond?
swim hopes some of you can share their experience.

thanks

[mickenator]

This has to be one of the hardest part of any addiction actually coming to terms with the fact your an addict and then turning to someone close for help. If swiy really trusts this friend and knows that they will keep it a secret then my advice would be talk to them, they may be dissapointed at first that you didn't tell them in the beginning but if they are a true friend then they should stand by you and try to guide you through this difficult time, also you need to come to terms of your addiction with yourself as until your ready in your own mind to beat this addiction then no matter who you tell you will not get anywhere. It would also be a good idea to try and join a new circle of friends with different interests and away from your present life style, and getting used to dealing with life without the cocaine crutches and dealing with the daily problems of life on your own. I hope you succeed as I know from personal experience that this is a hard road to travel.

[~lostgurl~]

It is quite normal to have mixed feelings about recovery. SWIY obviously wants recovery enough to be seeking out help to make it happen, but also change can be a scary and unfathomable thing, and to quit using something that brings SWIY a great amount of pleasure is not an easy choice, even if SWIY can see the detrimental affects it is having. If SWIY feels the need to confide in people because SWIY needs support then do it, do whatever SWIY feels they need to to make it work.

[Forthesevenlakes]

It is a difficult thing to reveal an addiction to loved ones. SWIY is trying to take his life in the right direction, and its natural for you to not want to have to deal with shock and anger from someone close to you when you're already having a hard enough time quitting. If people know about the quit attempt they can certainly help which is always good, is there anyone that knows about SWIY's use that SWIY can confide in? it would be easier to tell them if they already know. If not, perhaps coming clean to someone trustworthy and important in SWIY's life would be a good thing, but take some time to think this over before making a decision. If nothing else you can always find support on the forum, which is better than no support at all and can, in fact, be quite helpful!

It may not be a bad idea to tell swiy's dealer that swiy is trying to quit, and delete their number from your phone. Try to stop hanging out in places where swiy would use, and with some different people who do not use. Keeping busy and having an active social life are two good ways to help prevent relapsing out of boredom or lonliness. Keeping active can also help stave off some of the depression that may come with quitting a given substance.

Check out the recovery forum, too, theres a few other threads on quitting coke and maybe SWIY could garner some useful info from that.

[adam7050]

swim's parents knew already, and were very worried. dont' be so sure that swiy's don't as well. swim needs what he considers big reasons for not relapsing. Getting his parents involved was a huge deterrant. He got back in touch with his friends that dont do it, and made it a team sport.

The more reasons you have not to relapse, the better.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Good advice "The more reasons you have not to relapse, the better"

[AF_069]

Originally Posted by jeper

Here is the deal. swim is trying to stay away from cocaine. Swim is not doing very well in that. swim has professional help but the only thing she keeps saying is that swim doesnt HAVE to be there and that swim REALLY wants to quit cocaine before she can help him. He is probably not that far yet. So swim wants to try a different approach. the scary one.

As knowbody knows about this thing swim s put himself into he s starting to think of telling a close friend of his, as his knowing would make swim more obliged not to use again as he doesnt want to fail.

The other thing, when he does tell him the friend finds out how much swim has lied to him in the past as he was trying to cover up his addiction. also swim doesnt want anyone else to know about this secret as its possible the friend would slip his tongue. thats a scary thing, when other people know, start talking about him behind his back and find him a lowlife junk or something like that. Swim couldnt handle the idea...

swim is in such a fragile state right now he couldnt handle a rejection or someone who doesnt take him serious as he confesses this thing of his.

also talking to his family isnt an option, they probably couldnt handle it, are very disappointed shocked and hurt and doesnt know how to respond to the situation. and above all, they arent that close.

So, how do you all cope with this. Do you tell others about your situation? How do they react? Is it a relieve and does it help? How does the family respond?
swim hopes some of you can share their experience.

thanks

Jeper, you are not alone. I for instance face the same thing. No one knows except a couple of people that get high with me and that's it. I try not to use it too frequently and that seems to be working. Yes, I have the urge everyday but you must be strong and let go. Next thing you know it's been a couple or three week and it's time for a couple of lines.....Try to space out the use and no one needs to know.....

Reputation Comments on this post:

Remember we do not use I, Use swim or something similar, do not self incriminate

[adam7050]

Originally Posted by jeper

Here is the deal. swim is trying to stay away from cocaine. Swim is not doing very well in that. swim has professional help but the only thing she keeps saying is that swim doesnt HAVE to be there and that swim REALLY wants to quit cocaine before she can help him. He is probably not that far yet. So swim wants to try a different approach. the scary one.

As knowbody knows about this thing swim s put himself into he s starting to think of telling a close friend of his, as his knowing would make swim more obliged not to use again as he doesnt want to fail.

The other thing, when he does tell him the friend finds out how much swim has lied to him in the past as he was trying to cover up his addiction. also swim doesnt want anyone else to know about this secret as its possible the friend would slip his tongue. thats a scary thing, when other people know, start talking about him behind his back and find him a lowlife junk or something like that. Swim couldnt handle the idea...

swim is in such a fragile state right now he couldnt handle a rejection or someone who doesnt take him serious as he confesses this thing of his.

also talking to his family isnt an option, they probably couldnt handle it, are very disappointed shocked and hurt and doesnt know how to respond to the situation. and above all, they arent that close.

So, how do you all cope with this. Do you tell others about your situation? How do they react? Is it a relieve and does it help? How does the family respond?
swim hopes some of you can share their experience.

thanks

definitely not the one with all the answers, but what i can offer you is about 4 serious attempts, sucessful for 2-4 months, but relapsed for different reasons, but the common denomenator was underestimating the severity of the situation. From what i could tell, i'm assuming that this is your 1st serious run at it.

I cant emphasize enough the impact of informing your parents, and for me, that was my #1 deterrant. If your close with them, i'm sure they would be dissappointed if you didnt get them involved, especially if you explain to them the impact of getting them involved is so important. It might stress them, but if they're healthy you need all the help you can get.
Friends as well, but only a few close friends, especially because if they dont do it, thats who you need to be hanging out with. They'll respect you for making a positive change and asking for their help.
I'll give you some do's and don't that might help skip some rookie mistakes:
*dealers are not friends, a coutesy call is good, but change your number
*no contact with anyone that does it, reconnect with old friends who dont
* the nightclubs; off limits for at least 3 months, AT LEAST, trade that for diinner and a movie
* Exercise will make you look better, then you feel better, all positive.
* Exercise will also maike your whole day easier, keeping the craving to a minimum.

I know it may seem extreme, but everyone under estimate's the situation. Do more, not less, good luck, and if you want to talk or have questions, dont hesitate. adam