I often look at my father and wonder if there's any hope we'll ever be close. He's not a horrible guy and he's done an awful lot for me but there just doesn't seem to be enough common ground to foster a relationship. When I was younger he was my monster. If my life story were made into a novel he would have been the antagonist of my childhood. He didn't molest me or beat me or anything like that. But he taught me how to hate and how to feel shame. His words did a lot of damage and I still don't think he understands that.

It's become an issue for us now because of his cancer. He's only got about 10 years left and I think we've both just been putting it off up until now. Suddenly,...

People complain about big business and unfair treatment all the time. You hear them going on about it at work and at school and on the news. But we're the people right? Aren't we in control of America? We treat Europe and the rest of the world as if we invented Democracy. But do any of us even know how our democracy works? Are any of us citizens in the Greek sense?

No, we're sheep. We sit each day and abstain from knowledge; we neglect to actually care about each others causes. We sit and get fat on the poisons that big business sends us in little plastic bags. Until we can rise up and inform ourselves we will continue to be at the mercy of American Aristocracy.
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I'm crazy. Not bat-shit crazy; that might be fun. I'm the other kind of crazy. The crazy where you're still a normal person with a job and a wife and a life full of everyday tasks. Except that you've got the 'other side' of your brain that just rides your ass all day and makes it impossible to do any of those 'normal' things. Sometimes I think I'd be happier if I just gave in and let myself drift away into insanity. But I can't.

I can't have a normal 9-5 job or I'll get suicidal. I can't be alone with myself or I'll go crazy. I can't be in a crowd without sweating. I can't decide to do something because I won't go through with it. I can't feel the same way tomorrow as...