Waking up I was broke, scanning the fridge I had leftover polenta. The only thing I could find to flavor it was thyme. It was dried out but still great so I used it. Anyways breakfast was delicious but then I wondered what was in thyme. So thyme contains Thymol, which is GABAergic and relaxes the trachea. Sounds like an excellent thing to attempt to smoke right?

So I rang up my raver friend and told him about the plan and he was stoked as usual for anything. He sent me this back.

"The smoke is extremely easy to inhale, feels almost like air and the throat is relaxed and not irritated at all. Calming effects are instant. Respiratory depression effects are noticeable...

I'm tired of feeling wrong every time I wake up. I shouldn't be here. I'm learning nothing. MY life is stagnated. I care about no one around me. No one around me has any contact with me beyond what one would expect from strangers forced to be near each other by circumstances. Casual courtesy, smalltalk, politically correct politeness...these things are fine when you are actually around strangers. But not living with your family. There ought to be a grain of substance to the fundamental relationships in your life. There is no substance in my life at this point. The only thing that existed was hope;dreams that I could some how make it back to the place where everything was perfect (aka college)....

A few days ago I was visiting my sister in northern virginia and was at a mall. I ran into my best friend that my made at college, who I thought was still back in nyc. I later learned she was in town not even for a whole day. It was very fortunate that we both went to the same mall since I saw many in the foreign suburbia of the Fairfax, VA area. The whole experience left me shocked in beautiful way. It reminded me that there are people out there that still mean a lot to me and that I mean a lot to them, even if I rarely see them, which was a great thing to be reminded of. I love her (in a best friend sort of way).

Secondly my favorite band, not associated with any form of...