It may seem like a sappy notion to the drug inclined individual--"high on life", like some lame anti-drug slogan--but my monkey has been thinking lately and this is exactly how he used to feel: like he was flipped out of his gourd on living itself.

High on life.

Ever since he started using drugs, however, he feels this has gone away to a large degree. Like he lost the knack for getting high without a chemical catalyst.

Do you understand this sentiment?

He's not laying out a "drugs r bad, mm'kay" rap or anything. He likes drugs and thinks they can be used responsibly without losing one's own inherent ability to enjoy...

I am not a person who needs much cajoling or much of an excuse to take a moment to celebrate little things and get somewhat sappy and nostalgic. I like the little things of life. And really DF has been no little part of my life over these pat two year. So I'm taking today as a chance to celebrate and reminisce.

Undeniably this is bound to be boring for anyone else, but I don't think people look a lot at blogs anyway so it should be safe from inflicting sleep on people

Two years. That was a different life ago. Monkey was still with a girl who he was engaged to marry, before it all fell through. He'd taken an interest in researching dimethyltryptamine because...

Work in general tends to be lame. Most of the work I have done in my life has been stuff along the lines of dishwashing, working at gas stations and assorted menial jobs. While I didn't necessarily enjoy these, I never really had a huge problem unless I hated my co-workers... in which case I would quit.
My latest job is working in filing at a law firm. It seemed like a step up: it sounds more respectable and for the most part I don't mop up a bunch of shit. However there is one thing that sets this work way back: time draaaaaags on foreeeeeeever. I sit in front of a computer (something I normally enjoy, when at home with my feet propped up in comfy clothes and my cat on my lap and...

1.0 Introduction
My monkey has noticed a remission of bipolar symptoms since beginning experimentation with salvia around two weeks ago. This blog will be a log of his observations to determine whether the plant is responsible for this remission, contemplations on the potential reasons for such an effect, and general thoughts on the matter.

2.0 Case History.
Subject began showing symptoms at around the age of 16 with mood swings, grandiose thinking, and other typical bipolar trademarks. The disorder reached it's fruition when subject was 22 years old. He had a complete breakdown, which he does not remember very well. He came to believe that he was the devil and that...

I live in a country that hold as one of it's most fundemental tenants that all people shall be able to practice religion as they see fit, without fear of persecution. Yet in this country there is one religious tradition that has been considered wholly exempt from this protection. The followers of this religion are made criminals, facing prosecution, the seizure of their lands and property and their very liberty.
These are followers of what is arguably the longest standing practice of spirituality; universal and ancient beyond estimate.
The use of psychoactive substances to catalyze communion with the divine is the most widespread and time honored traditions, found in every land...

My new little buddy.

After a couple of months battling with the cheap Chinese scooter I got at the beginning of the summer, I've gotten a new one just in time for it to get cold as hell. Oh well, still beats walking, just time to get some snow-mobiling clothes, lol.
Here's the new beast:

She is...

...smoke from a fire
smoldering unceasingly in
recesses of me, burning blindly;
her presence, memories

flowing through these streets
thick as lethe, lacking only
the forgiveness of
forgetfulness.

waking from dream to dream
flitting from respite to
fleeting respite
in dregs of spirits and songs

as likely as not to turn
like trusted dogs gone rabid,
licking in tongues of froth
and tooth and yellow eyes;

bloodshot and waning (like
these nights and days gone
gray in mute sublimation);
I paint portraits of you in...

So I just had my first--and hopefully last--crash on my scooter. I was on my way to work and tried to dodge a big ugly pothole but the road was very wet and I hit an oil slick and went down. The good news is that I get to skip work even though I didn't really get hurt. Just missing some skin on my elbow and knee. Totally lame. I stood up and was just PISSED. Standing there, my expensive shirt torn up (the clothes I wear to work are much nicer than what I would normally consider spending for clothes), my scooter scratched up, me soaking wet and skinned up. The scooter is a little banged up but seems to be in working order. Will just need to order a new turn signal cover and do a little...

The world rotated again on its axis as it's so
fond of doing.

The sun shone warm and bright but was
swallowed at last by the night.

A boy in a mans body said "tomorrow" and
life left him behind.

The buses all put-putted around in circles.
One passenger saw only the smiling dead
bouncing along, not comforted at all in
knowing it was all in his head.

Some guy stood admiring a collection of
flowers, trying to pick the very best one.
But before he could decide the season
changed and they all withered and died.

A strangely comforting voice came from ...

artifact

marked by dead gods for some archaic purpose,
left in the floatsam and jetsam of human progress;
suspended between worlds--
a bridge to realms forsaken.

left only with fits and convulsions and a highwire mind
spanning antipodes that collect dust in eternity.

would there have been a reason in a different time,
a different place?
would the pain be a spring of healing for the sick rather than
a stagnant pool, breeding disease?

home is found with allies that have been burned...

worlds worst buddhist

Eyes fixed but unfocused, a mantram pulsing through his head--weaving a vibrational flux to act like a pendulum of attraction on the electro-chemical waters of his brain; singing into being a scaffolding of dissociation.

Sinew and bone begin to melt into a quantum foam of probabilistic non locality.

Sounds of people talking and laughing are left to bleed into the sky, belonging no longer to the corrugated cartilage and tiny bones that catch and coax them into coherence.

Dimensionality begins to collapse, leaving the tapestry...

Lip Service
(Or a Failed Attempt To Think of Something Other Than You)

The Scene does its best to impress: sunlight angles down
And to the left, just so, coaxing a neon moss colored glow
From the surface of the small lake resting like a green broken egg
Beneath a wreath of trees and grey rock outcropping;

The patch of sky exposed to my eyes is blue, then white,
Blue, then white, then blue again as the wind, like some furious djin,
Expands its chest, extends its breath, pushes the clouds fast
By the mountains patient head;

Huddled below at the humus feet of coniferous spires
...

π Stretching Faces In Time
(Or A Long-Winded Koan)

Then there was nothing—
Just before the geometric genesis:

When the pearly teeth of God parted
And the big bang got booming—
The golden spiraling timbre of His
(Or Her if you prefer)
Fibonacci Word:

I Am
that
I Am.

Do you remember that sound?
Raining down in ecstatic logarithms,
Sending Mandelbrot islands
Fractaling like...

I got my new motor scooter all put together, got it licensed and started cruising around on it last night. So far i've only been able to get it up to around 43mph and it slows down drastically when going uphill to any degree (around 15-20mph) but is still super fun.
Everyone at the office is getting a kick out of it since I drove it to work this morning. Scooters are a bit of a rarity here in the city of pick-up trucks and SUVs.
I'm probably overly excited about it but it has been a decade since I last drove a motor vehicle (barring driving friends cars when their too drunk on occasion).

Get your motor runnin'
head out on the highway
lookin for adventure...

Today was a rather momentous day for me so I think I'll write my first blog. It's a short blog because I dont' have much to say. But here's what happened that made the day worth noting in my personal history book. I felt content and excited about my life.

Rather ordinary, nothing big going on right now to be excited about other than the fact that I'm getting a motor scooter to putt-putt around on. But it is the contentment and joy in simplicity that marks this day.

It has been years since I have not either been horribly depressed, manic, or totally apathetic. This is the first time I've felt normal... like the good old days when I was an eccentric happy person,...