View Full Version : Important Read...How unethical drug seller hurt me and my mind HORRIBLY. WARNING!
I thought about where to post this. I think here is appropriate as it has to do with the mind. Remember it is just a dream.:eek:
This is the story of a horrible mistake. This story is a dream and only a dream. This is the story of a dreamer. The dreamer was a doctor who delt in natural therapeutics. The doctor and his family lived in a small town in a far away land. The dreamer was considered by all to be quite rational. He was respected and well educated. He did have a hidden side however that only a small circle knew about. Since being a young teenager he had a desire for mind altering chemicals. He started off with cannibus but quickly moved to mescaline. His doors of perception were opened at 14 years old with a very high dose of organic mescaline. After that dose as a child he suffered for 2 years with HPPD. A condition where he saw trails and afterimages from objects and other visual distortions. He wondered if he would ever be normal again. Well the condition spontaneously remitted and he was fine by age 16. Well the dreamer did not let this small setback disuade him from further mind exploration. He became a daily marijuana smoker and fell in love with LSD. Time went by and college and graduate school flew by. He smoked pot evry day and despite that excelled in his field. He was quite adept at anatomy and was not unknown to be "expanded" while dissecting human bodies. Well time went by and LSD and pot were still used as he maintained a successful practice in a far away exotic land. Then came the crash.
He broke his own rules and took into his body something that he did not understand. He saw an ad on the internet for a substance called Trip2night. It was touted as an "herbal ectasy". He ordered it. Well the red pills came. He took some. He kind of liked the feeling. The made him feel happy and he got some trails and objects seemed to have a "solidity" that he had not perceived before. He started to take these pills every day. As time went by he took higher and higher doses. He did not realize it but the pills began to augment him as a person. He began over a period of time to change in his personality. He started neglecting work and got sloppy. He began to believe that he was a reincarnated Tibetan Lama. He began telling people this. He started wearing green sunglasses everywhere and believed that he could project energy from them. He began to speak in different toungues and accents. He even contacted the Tibetan Embassy and believed that a group of priests were flying from Tibet to welcome him as a new incarnate high Lama. This went on for a while. Then everything snapped.
He was so delusional that he walked right into his neighbors hous and got into a fight with a group of people using a form of martial arts that he believed he had been given as a high incarnate lama. In the days before this happened he became highly adept at balancing on things and balancing things on top of things. Friends were amazed and asked how he did this. Well anyway the dreamer ended up in jail for the fight. While in jail for 3 days he sat in the lotus position and chanted and resonated sounds that vibrated the walls of the jail. Finally he was put on a small plane and flown to the mental hospital. He was completely at a loss as to why he was there. The psychiatrist not really properly evaluating him diagnosed him with a mental disorder and really disregarded the drugs the dreamer had taken. The dreamer was given medications. The dreamer against much resistence talked his way out in 72 hours but was still convinced of his incarnate Tibetan status. The dreamer flew home. The dreamer then took more Trip2 night and became delusional again. He believed that there was going to be a "great flash" in the sky and most of the world would be destroyed. He believed that when the flash came all the houses would resonate so he bagan obsessively taking down all of the artwork in his home and puttins all breakables on the floor. To ready for the flash. He then believed that he needed to go into another country to a city 200 miles away to purchase a computer for some odd reason. He got in his SUV and started out. A few miles down the windey mountain road he had a full psychotic break from reality. He believed that the SUV was a spaceship -time machine of some type. That if he floored the accelerator he would be transported 200 miles in a second. So he did it. The SUV got up to high speed and went off the road at a curve. It shot up a 20 foot imbankment of snow and was propelled through the air but ended up back on the highway. When the SUV touched down it was destroyed. Steam was pouring out of it and the dreamer was sitting in the drivers seat disoriented. He got out and staggard around the highway. Soon some people who knew him found him and drove him home.
Well to make a long story short after this point the dreamer ran out of Trip2night but his mind was still augmented. It took months to get well. Gradually sanity returned. But great damage was done. The dreamer was investagated by the state medical board and all kinds of conditions were set. He had to go to drug rehab, have weekly drug tests and see the psychiatrist. The mind doctor was basically a nice man but knew not much about the mind and drugs. So he misdiagnosed the dreamer with bipolar disorder and a list of other disorders . All of this based primarily on his initial intake when the dreamer was psychotic and a few 10 minute visits when the dreamer still was augmented from the Trip2night or suffering from the residual effects of it. The dreamer was put on all kinds of medication from lithium to depakote to a gram of seroquel a day as well as some other high tech drug. Mind you the dreamer had no delusional issues before the Trip2night. Anyway damage was done to the dreamers practice, reputation and family. The dreamer lost all of it. The dreamer is alone now. He takes no medication and is his old self. But everything is gone. He moved from the far away land he lived in. Everything destroyed.
The dreamer never had any problems taking LSD, mushrooms, mescaline, pot in his life. But this Trip2night was a whole other ball of wax. So what was this stuff that caused all this. Well the dreamer struggled with this for years. All he knew that it was a combination of ephedra and something called "Indian bromine". Well finally a few days ago the dreamer found this forum. He asked about it. A very bright member by the name of Panthers007 kindly responded. He had the answer. The pills the dreamer took were DXM from India. This solved the puzzel for the dreamer. The dreamer went and studied DXM and found that it would in fact do all of the things that happend to the dreamer if taken at high doses for an extended period. Also the dreamer may have had a silent heart attack and kidney damage from this. The dreamer is very dissapointed with the company that sold him the pills as they said they were an all natural herbal formula. This is very very unethical behavior. They are not nice people to do such a bad thing. The dreamer does not really believe in prisons and punishments for peoples mistakes but the dreamer feels very angry toward the people. The company is not in business anymore so the dreamer can do nothing to recover anything. But what the dreamer can do is warn you about the terrible dream he had. If the dreamer had of had access to safe sacraments like LSD and mescaline he would not have used such a thing. Now ultimately the dreamer is to blame because he took the pills without fully understanding their nature. This dream was a horrible dream and is no joke. All is gone. Health care practice, wife, son, home, beachfront property and personal identity. Not good. Not good at all.
damn, swim feels for the dreamer. if that happened to swim he would be very angry as well.
this furthers the argument that these companies are putting harmful substances into these pills and lying about it.
Panthers007
06-05-2008, 07:11
I should like to point out that the nefarious company that sold these pills claimed they were all-natural. This was BS. They contained dextromethorphan (DXM) - which they hid among the ingredients by mislabeling it as "Indian Bromine." No doubt because the DXM was synthesized in India and the DXM was supplied as it's hydrobromide salt. The crew here at Drugs-Forum heard about this sometime back and tracked it down. The pills also contained Ephedra - ephedrine - which can kill you if taken in combination with DXM. I'm pleased to say that these assholes are no longer in business. But keep an eye open - skunks like that have a tendency to re-surface.
The experience of the Dreamer in the above narrative is something that many people who have experimented with DXM can relate to. The formation of entirely new realities while on this drug - and having them stick around afterwards - is not anywhere unique to the Dreamer. But as the Dreamer was walking in blind, he was rendered especially open to a prolonged reaction. He is fortunate to be alive - considering what some of the delusions compelled him to do.And we can pin another medal on the government's War On Drugs - if these substances were legal again we could expect proper labeling of ingredients. Or a massive lawsuit. Due to the illegal/illicit nature of such, that road is blocked.
Last Analysis For Now dept: A monkey should always know exactly what is in something before they ingest it. If the label does not provide this information, or does and searching for further information (Indian Bromine) is a dead end, throw it out.
DXM can be a very useful tool if handled correctly with one's eyes wide open. Slipping it to someone without their knowledge is grounds for a capital felony.
Raw edge
07-05-2008, 20:34
My god that sounds like one ugly dream.
"all natural herbal formula". Why are people total morons and think the word natural makes shit safe?
Deadly Nightshade and Hemlock are also natural dipshits.... go out and eat some of that.
"all natural herbal formula". Why are people total morons and think the word natural makes shit safe?
Deadly Nightshade and Hemlock are also natural dipshits.... go out and eat some of that.
Well in SWIMs situation he was not hurt by something natural. He was hurt by a company that said it was natural and lied and put DXM in it. But your observation is basically correct. But also extremes like deadly nightshade and Hemlock are not permitted for use as food products. :)
i take a tricyclic anti-depressent and i know those and SSRIs mess with DXM xps to a great degree...
I had on more than one occasion heard voices and had a mild psychosis.
i take a tricyclic anti-depressent and i know those and SSRIs mess with DXM xps to a great degree...
I had on more than one occasion heard voices and had a mild psychosis.
Well DXM can also bring a full delusional psychosis by itself if taken at a very high dose and for a long time:eek:
thealmassi1
06-06-2008, 15:06
That sucks. But I guess it's a lesson learned to the dreamer to not buy stuff from 3rd world countries and not even know what they are ingesting into themselves. The doctor even thinks it is fine to take at increasingly high doses EVERYDAY. C"mon! I feel for you, dreamer, but damn, that's just stupidity.
Corporations put "natural" label on their products all the time, but it does not make it obligatory to put herbal ingredients in the food/drink.
Hope there's a future happy ending where the doctor finds his practice again and chooses his family over drugs.
That sucks. But I guess it's a lesson learned to the dreamer to not buy stuff from 3rd world countries and not even know what they are ingesting into themselves. The doctor even thinks it is fine to take at increasingly high doses EVERYDAY. C"mon! I feel for you, dreamer, but damn, that's just stupidity.
Corporations put "natural" label on their products all the time, but it does not make it obligatory to put herbal ingredients in the food/drink.
Hope there's a future happy ending where the doctor finds his practice again and chooses his family over drugs.
Well it was not from a "third world" country. It was from the USA. And yes the dreamer should have known exactly what was in it and did attempt research and all the elements were known except one. So yes that was a mistake. But along the same lines ultimately even with the beat sources of "street drugs" no one can be 100% sure what is in them unless they know the lab personally or make them themselves. But the chances are probably better on the street. And as far as taking increased doses every day. Well you would need to have been in the situation. After a few days the dreamer was so wacked out he was not thinking rationally. And as far as the "corporations being allowed to put DXM in a product that they SAY is natural and herbal, that is illegal and a boldfaced lie. They are Obliged to comply with what they have said the product is. Yes there is a tendency we have observed to fault the consumer when the consumer willfully takes mind altering chenicals. An "oh well....You deserve it" attitude. But if this was a situation where the dreamer purchsed it at the health food store to help with his diabetes then people would be outraged if DXM was in an "all natural herbal" product. AS far as "Happy ending". There will never be one to this. This killed the dreamer. The dreamer died in his heart when he lost everything. He is essentially dead now. There is no possible fix. All gone and all ruined. If you want to know what hell is just ask the dreamer. Some things cannot be put back together. Despite the "Rah Rah...There's always hope crowd".
Panthers007
06-06-2008, 16:26
Now, now - Rah Rah Lobsang - there is a new life waiting around the corner if you practice what you preach as a Tibetan Sage. I won't Rah Rah - but go ahead and kill the former and make room for something better. Being bitter is not going to help. Not you, or anyone who finds themselves in a similar predicament. Having the rug pulled out from under one's feet is a dirty trick. Now grab some nails for the carpet and let's get this story out there!
Agreed?
Now, now - Rah Rah Lobsang - there is a new life waiting around the corner if you practice what you preach as a Tibetan Sage. I won't Rah Rah - but go ahead and kill the former and make room for something better. Being bitter is not going to help. Not you, or anyone who finds themselves in a similar predicament. Having the rug pulled out from under one's feet is a dirty trick. Now grab some nails for the carpet and let's get this story out there!
Agreed?
Well Lobsang can and will rise to the occasion. The plane's engine is failing but the pilot can use the throttle to gain some altitude to hold off the crash but getting to a soft landing is unlikely. But other things were destroyed in the dream besides self image and loss of everything valued. Also finances. Much much debt, credit ruined. No possible way to restore. IRS attacking. So yes there is anger. But there is also practicality. You cannot break through a brick wall. And as far as Lobsangs Tibetan knowledge. It is what has kept him from saying "football season is over". Many others would have closed the season early. But Lobsang has not. Even Tibetan priests have limits in what we consider an acceptable reality that is unshiftable. So yes Lobsang can agree to put anger, bitterness and sorrow on the sideline and play a coherent game for the project.
But you will notice that the post indicating the dreamer's fault in this is exactly what we have to deal with. If in Lobsang's dream he had have gone to the healthfood store and purchased an "herbal supplement" and taken it every day and it did this everyone would be outraged. The FDA would charge in on white horses. But when someone is a "drug user" they are said to deserve what they shall get. It is similar to saying that a girl who dressed a "certain way" deserved to be raped and it would never have happened if she did not dress that way.
So fear not Lobsang will do just fine for the project. And if he does start to drift off into emotion you can simply make him aware of it and guide him back on the path. Remember even the Dali Lama was pacing the floor back and forth and rambling when he watched the Tenimen Square shootings on his TV. His friends simply guided him back on course.
thealmassi1
09-06-2008, 13:54
Well it was not from a "third world" country. It was from the USA. And yes the dreamer should have known exactly what was in it and did attempt research and all the elements were known except one. So yes that was a mistake. But along the same lines ultimately even with the beat sources of "street drugs" no one can be 100% sure what is in them unless they know the lab personally or make them themselves. But the chances are probably better on the street. And as far as taking increased doses every day. Well you would need to have been in the situation. After a few days the dreamer was so wacked out he was not thinking rationally. And as far as the "corporations being allowed to put DXM in a product that they SAY is natural and herbal, that is illegal and a boldfaced lie. They are Obliged to comply with what they have said the product is. Yes there is a tendency we have observed to fault the consumer when the consumer willfully takes mind altering chenicals. An "oh well....You deserve it" attitude. But if this was a situation where the dreamer purchsed it at the health food store to help with his diabetes then people would be outraged if DXM was in an "all natural herbal" product. AS far as "Happy ending". There will never be one to this. This killed the dreamer. The dreamer died in his heart when he lost everything. He is essentially dead now. There is no possible fix. All gone and all ruined. If you want to know what hell is just ask the dreamer. Some things cannot be put back together. Despite the "Rah Rah...There's always hope crowd".
I'm sorry if I sounded cold and have no idea what the dreamer is truly going through.
I'm just confused if the dreamer decided to take the drugs everyday, wouldn't he at least research what is in them. Even marijuana is natural but it isn't usually beneficial to do it everyday and can lead to addiction with heavy use.
I don't have a problem with the dreamer taking mind altering chemicals, it's the high frequency with which he took the non-addictive drug. To become addicted to DXM, one has to really try to get addicted.
What i meant with the corporations and branding their products natural is that it is legal for them to put whatever ingredients they want in their product if their brand or supplier is called "Natural." This is similar to McDonald's burgers, which are branded "100% pure beef" but since thats the name of their beef supplier, they are not obligated to put any beef whatsoever in their burgers. This may be the case with the red pill sellers, but I don't even think they would bother with that technicality.
I also don't understand why a doctor would not be able to find work either. As long as there are sick people, doctors are needed. Though, the dreamer could be in a depression from his tragic experience that prevents him from working.
I just don't understand what allowed the dreamer to justify his actions, that's all. But, I truly feel for his loss.
I also don't understand why a doctor would not be able to find work either. As long as there are sick people, doctors are needed. Though, the dreamer could be in a depression from his tragic experience that prevents him from working.
That is complicated. When everthing hit the fan the state medical board found out. The dreamers wife left him. His practice was destroyed. Reputation was shot. Did not practice in the "convential" world but in a small isolated "third world" type place. So all these conditions were put on the dreamer by the medical board. The dreamer had to take all these drug tests evry week, had to go to AA meetings(Why..No alcohol issue) 4 times a week and had to see this psychiatrist who had ALL his patients on drugs. (The dremer had no mental issues whern not on DXM). SO thew freamer ended up with no home. lost family(which was his life), conditions of having to go to AA 4 times a week, drug testing, seeing quack who had him on strong drugs with all kinds of side effects like shaking and not even being able to hold a glass. So the dreamer was alone, no family, no home, going to these meetings that were so friggen stupid with people stuck in talking about the SAME old thing over and over and to top it off getting sicker and sicker from the drug side effects. The dreamer was always a happy and free soul who made his own way in life. This was a cage. In the process the dreamer got into trouble with the IRS because he could not pay them or other debt. So everything just fell apart. And even if the dreamer could fix the physical things and not have to take the drugs(which were prescribed when he was waked out on DXM and never stopped) and not have to do all the other things. He has still lost his family and is unable to live in the natural, remote rainforest town he loves with all his heart and soul. He cannot be with the animammals and the misty mountains or dance under the northern lights and smell the smells of the fires at night. So this is all not acceptable to the dreamer but the dreamer cannot change it. Everything gone and ruined. No fix possible. When one has lived the way the dreamer has captivity is not an option. And without his family there is no reason to play the life game. I know it is hard to understand but it is like taking a native from his home and culture in the Amazon rainforest and putting him in a city and forcing him to go to a right wing Fundementalist church every day. Taking him from all the culture and family and tribe he knew. So would he be "depressed". You are damn right he would. And there aint no pills that can fix that. It is easy to say get over it. Or that with your spiritual skills and knowlegde you can adapt. But it is not that easy. You cannot make oil and water mix. You can mix it for a moment by shaking but it will always seperate. So that is the answer to your question...
radiometer
09-06-2008, 20:44
I'm pleased to say that these assholes are no longer in business.
Are you sure about that? A quick websearch brought dozens of results for buying them.
Myself and a few other people wrote complaining to the FDA several years back when this company started marketing these products. I thought they were still on the market.
Unexpected DXM trips can be a nightmare. My buddy Eddie ate a couple of alleged 'ecstasy' pills he was sold in a NYC nightclub back in the early 90s which turned out to contain a high amount of DXM, and he still counts it as his worst drug experience ever.
Are you sure about that? A quick websearch brought dozens of results for buying them.
Well yes we have found that out. Indian Bromine is being used in a supplement called "Red Dawn". It is slickly not marketed as a "legal high" but an "energizer". We are unclear if the "indian bromine" in the current product is stll DXM. But it probably is. If it is not then they are using the "indian bromine" name to market the new product. But from what I can gather it has the same high. WE are currently in the process of cracking the entire case. I would love to talk to anyone who has recently had a friend that used the products "Red Dawn" or "Red Bliiss". Yes you can buy them on line and they probebly do contain DXM or something very close. It is interesting to note that I confronted on company on the issue of Indian Bromine and within a couple of days their website took it out of the listed ingredients. You will be hearing more about the developments in this case. As far as the FDA goes they are a paper tiger
Also if anyone knows anything or of Indian Bromine being sold in any product other than Red Bliss please let me know. Or if your cat has taken or intends to take Red Bliss or Red Dawn please let me know what ity felt like.
stoneinfocus
10-06-2008, 18:52
This is typical: If it weren´t "forbidden" to talk about these drugs, prpb. a docotr had a chemist-friend, who´d put it through a GC and it wouldnßt have happened.
Then again, how could one ingest an unknown substnace over many years, whne it´s all over the place, that -especially_ in the "natural" drugs, are the bad ones intermixed?
There is no freely available natural or whatever drug, that will caue much more, than an allergical reaction ür pimples.If it works, there must be something forbidden in it, ot if I feel it works, I´d at least leave it be, after a while and pause, or analyse it, because if it works, it may have sides.
this is truly a story that the smurf feels. smurf has a brother in law that went through a very similar experience a few years ago. the thing that is strange is that it really is a mystery if it is from some thing in what the dreamer took at the time or if it was just what any dreamer took at the time while the dreamer was going through something or not.
it could be some thing that just triggers something for a dreamer too. cos smurfs dreamer had just 1 line of coke, he was perfect before that. just that 1 line sent him in to his dream & had him seeing things, talking in another language & he was good at it with the accent & every thing. he too had these weird 'super powers' & ideas & was convincing to people with things if you did'nt know him.
it got him in to alot of trouble car accidents debt losing friends, girlfriends etc...
he too was diagnosed with 'bipolar' & had a little medication valium & lithium & & i think it was, but then eventually refused to take it. he had his 'manic' highs & lows.
still to this day he is not completly himself cos he sees it as a weak point & chapter in his life. it's not nice knowing who he was & seeing him battling with things. he is a little self destructive & does'nt respect people the way he should cos of the people that turned their backs on him. he is still battling to get over it.
at least he makes light & jokes of it by saying he has a 'get out of jail free card'
claim insanity/bipolarness. lol. he is a funny guy & gets up to alot of hooligan activities.
so the question is perhaps it takes a certain what ever for who ever to go in to a dream world, obviously this 'natural drug' the dreamer took has a higher stastic rate & is unethical the way it was sold.
becos the smurfs were having the same coke given to their dreamer & the dreamer still uses coke till this day to try understand & prove some thing to himself that it was'nt the coke is what leaves questions.
The Dreamer
04-08-2008, 02:51
My cat thanks you for sharing your story Lobsang and will always study anything he puts in his body.
Yes SWIM never ever ever thought that this could happen to him. It ruined everything . A total life destroyed. Completely smashed and demolished. SWIM was happy in life but now is totally ruined. It all seems like a bad dream to SWIM.
if swim was caught in a trip for 2 years after the mescaline, that would have been a wake-up call. people just got to be smart, not saying that anyone's stupid, but more of a hightend awareness while indulging in psychoactive substances. But it just goes to show hallucenogens are not a joke.
if swim was caught in a trip for 2 years after the mescaline, that would have been a wake-up call.
No not at all they are two differnt thins. HPPD has nothing to do with what happened on DXM. HPPD is just things like visual disturbances like trails and after images. It is totally a visual processing problem. It is not being caught in a trip. It is very very different. It has no connection to anything else but the visual system. SWIM's problems came from not knowing he was taking DXM. You may search this forum to learn more about how DXM in high doses acts on the brain and body. It will do that to anyone given enough over time. SWIM was tricked plane and simple. He took LSD and may other things for years with no problem except the HPPD at 14 years old. So like I say check into what happens to a person on high levels of DXM over a long time. You can find it by searching.
cnsns2ccl2
04-08-2008, 06:03
Even if the product was really 100% natural, doesn't mean it would've been safe. It's a public misconception that natural products are better for you than synthetic products. Where it comes from is completely irrelevant. What matters is the chemical composition and how it interacts with your body. Besides that, no product or drug sold is in it's natural form. It's extracted, i.e. chemically processed. One should be careful of consuming something with the false sense of security that it is safe just because it is natural, or organic.
Even if the product was really 100% natural, doesn't mean it would've been safe. It's a public misconception that natural products are better for you than synthetic products. Where it comes from is completely irrelevant. What matters is the chemical composition and how it interacts with your body. Besides that, no product or drug sold is in it's natural form. It's extracted, i.e. chemically processed. One should be careful of consuming something with the false sense of security that it is safe just because it is natural, or organic.
Oh yes I am very aware of that. But you see they snuck DXM into the product and did not list it. That was highly unethical. And they put a lot of DXM in it. So yes SWIM made an error. But putting DXM-hydrobromide in a product is criminal considering how dangerous it is when taken over time.
cnsns2ccl2
04-08-2008, 07:23
Incredibly unethical, not to mention illegal too most likely.
Incredibly unethical, not to mention illegal too most likely.
Well right now we have some evidence that another company is doing the exact same thing but getting away with it.. Functioning on the edge of the law. The product is Red Dawn. But despite efforts no one really cares. It is complex. But if you search "Red Dawn Indian Bromine" you weill see.
This is a very sad story indeed. I had a cousin who used no drugs except alcohol, his belief was almost generic in that "if it's legal then it's safe". He was offered the legal high "Red Dawn" a few years ago. He was telling me of his visions through an online chat medium, but I simply couldn't believe he could be having such strong hallucinations via a so-called legal high.
I wish all the best to the dreamer, and indeed the dreamers everywhere :thumbsup:
. He was offered the legal high "Red Dawn" a few years ago. He was telling me of his visions through an online chat medium,
Yes yes...This is the kind of crap that can happen. Not like other drugs like LSD and all. It is very strange.
leadcoffin
04-08-2008, 22:01
Thank you for sharing this story. I hope this dreamer is able to find his way back. I will warn my priestess -- she has been interested in this type of product before.
Thank you for sharing this story. I hope this dreamer is able to find his way back. I will warn my priestess -- she has been interested in this type of product before.
Well it is not that the product does not work or someone might not enjoy it or it be a good product for taking once in a while. But one needs to know what they are taking. Si SWIM does not think the product is the "devil" but the lack of knowledge is.
But as far as the dreamer finding his way back. He is totally sane. But everything is ruined . Hiw life is destroyed. Anything that mattered is gone. He waits to die and stop the pain and grief. It has been almost 7 years and hid life is a living hell. This is the price that was paid. The dreamer's life. His life damn-it! he has no pleasure in anything any more. He totally blew it. Fucked it up. He is now a total loser and failed at life and cannot repair it. But he can muster the streangth to tell others what happened. But the dreamer should just be put out of his misery. But for some reason he gets up to face each horrible and dark day.
No I have a friend that had his life ruined by drug abuse. He is now off of all drugs. But the poor guy has changed. Totally changed. He went from a smart inquisitive person to a scared goody two shoes. Talking about God and all he does is go to AA and NA meetings. He is terrified of all drugs. Now he believes in religion and isa promotor of the police and things like that. He sold his soul for some island of happiness.
The dreamer could never do anything like that. Yes he went to NA and AA years ago and yes it helped. But after a while it was so so flat and boreing. People talking about the same old thing over and over and over. He just could no take it.
People say to the dreamer. "Dreamer...Become a christian and you shall be happy"...Or "Become a Buddhist and you will be happy"....Or "Join the Peace Corps and you will be happy". They have no idea what happened really to the dreamer. Everything he valued and worked for both imaterial and material was destroyed. And it cannot be restored. ...
But before the dreamer dies he would like to say to the person who put the DXM in the pills and lied... YOU ARE A VERY VERY BAD PERSON!
The Dreamer
05-08-2008, 02:07
It's amazing how many hoops my cat has to jump through to protect the secrecy of his habits yet some asshole can get away with shit like that.
If they had made other drugs legal, would the dreamer have taken this Trip2night?
If DXM was legal, wouldn't they be abled to control the sale of this substance better?
Spongebob really feels for the dreamer. Stupid business-minded people only thinking of making profits and having no care for others... Unfortunately this is what our world has become and we all have to learn to live through it. Some who are not so lucky turn out like the dreamer. Spongebob is really grateful for this info as it has enlightened spongebob considerably about companies.
Spongebob also wishes the dreamer all the best in life and perhaps, just perhaps a little bright future lies ahead
If they had made other drugs legal, would the dreamer have taken this Trip2night?
If DXM was legal, wouldn't they be abled to control the sale of this substance better?
Spongebob really feels for the dreamer. Stupid business-minded people only thinking of making profits and having no care for others... Unfortunately this is what our world has become and we all have to learn to live through it. Some who are not so lucky turn out like the dreamer. Spongebob is really grateful for this info as it has enlightened spongebob considerably about companies.
Spongebob also wishes the dreamer all the best in life and perhaps, just perhaps a little bright future lies ahead
Well you are correct SWIM would never have taken this stuff if he had decent drugs. And as far as bright future. No there is none ...Everything is ruined. All is lost and beyond repair. SWIm is the walking dead and just wants to die. Or actually needs to die. Becuae things cannot be repaired. It sucks ...But it is true. A completely wasted life. But swim now is too much of a loser/pussy to kill himself. So he is fucked...Basically. But there will come a point where he says "No more".
not trying to change any decisions made, just smurf feels & can relate lobsang as he has been there too & still is battling with alot of the past life. at lobsangs age there is no second chance at things to be the way they were. smurf still has a 2nd chance to be back where he was. smurf has felt this way lobsang feels & neally ended it. smurf has friends who feel the same, who cant do it themselves to end it & seeing them live in this state is sad. this is not a pleasant place to be in & smurf wishes lobsang peace in the last days of this life. as long as we can provide some sort of comfort...
Remember when you were young,
You shone like the sun...
Now there's a look in your eyes,
Like black holes in the sky...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhvSi7dfQGQ&feature=related
stoneinfocus
11-08-2008, 16:23
It's amazing how many hoops my cat has to jump through to protect the secrecy of his habits yet some asshole can get away with shit like that.
they were after swim, after they realized he was treating his multiple accident caused fractures with hormones. He wondered that nearly every second house of companions he met, had been searched, just vbecause he was buying shrooms (mainly for treating his migraine, which works amazingly great) when it was still legal in his country. So he was flagged before and probably because of his closest related family members.Normally swim wouldn't even be posting here.It were stupid considerng his situation, but it doesn't matter anymore.
At Lobsang, a friend was in a similar situation and found out, that being an expert in _something_ was enough for making him feel good even better than most of the pees he knows.Once one really struggeled to be the best one could be, it becomes an attidute, that wouldn't go away and is a fountain of endless occupation in a very good sense, and gets one into contact with the human nature, because he thinks, this was the human nature.
And stop listening to Pink Floyd.:)
Head up, my friend!
I don't know, how it is finacially, but that's not necessarily a stepping stone for being lucky again, as long as it's enough, don't know about that, and considering being low profile, there're ways, that are cool, for managing that issue, at least partially, too.the trick is not being distracted by problems, that are not to be changed anymore and not to be brought to the ground by them.
stoneinfocus
Otherwise, I think we all and our society deserves whatever comes our way.
darkglobe
02-09-2008, 14:08
This is totally and utterly despicable. I hate to believe that there are individuals out there willing to subject their "customers" to such lies. I'm not naive, however: I do know it goes on.
Doesn't make it right.
I feel great sympathy for the Dreamer. I also can empathise as far as DXM psychosis is concerned, as I had a friend who suffered psychotice breaks, albeit (thankfully) for a very short period of time.
I wish the Dreamer all the very best, and hope his future dreams aren't so bleak!
PS: Pink floyd rock
DXM is indeed a most insidious chemical. It has a very suble way of deluding you which other hallucinogenics do not. And SWIM remembers just how addicting it can be for some from the time when it was easily and cheaply available online as pure powder.
SWIM had some very memorable DXM experiences but found it too easy to fall into believing in its manufactured realities. SWIM feared losing SWIM's soul to this drug, quite literally after SWIM's last high dose experience, and to this day recalls whispers of this experience whenever SWIM takes an over the counter cough remedy at recommended doses.
Lobsang, SWIM can really relate to SWILobsang's situation. SWIM's life has fallen apart a few times now, but so far SWIM has been able to rebuild it. Things may never be the same as the life SWILobsang lost, but all nightmares end eventually one way or the other, and since SWILobsang still goes on, perhaps that way will be unexpected and to some extent positive. SWIM wishes the best of luck. SWIM likes all the Chavin imagery, btw...SWIM's favorite extinct culture ..
Value Of Existence
03-09-2008, 03:07
Other than on DF, has swim considered warning others, publicly speaking? Swim has been through his fair share of rehab, attempted rehab, jail, and other bullshit, and sometimes hearing the experiences of others really helped swim to avoid certain things. Just an idea, sometimes helping others can make things feel less dim.
Other than on DF, has swim considered warning others, publicly speaking? Swim has been through his fair share of rehab, attempted rehab, jail, and other bullshit, and sometimes hearing the experiences of others really helped swim to avoid certain things. Just an idea, sometimes helping others can make things feel less dim.
Well whatever needs to be done needs to extend beyond things like public speaking. Apparently we are in the process of a project that deals with helping to promulgate the dangers and the unethical behavior of certain individuals with certain goals that may benefit many.
purplehaze
03-09-2008, 04:03
I really wished you would change your signature. Even though your entire life has fallen apart infront of your eyes, you still havn't lost anything.
Failing is just a mindstate, you can move on. DXM is just a part of your life, you have not failed yourself, you have failed others. Bee free in mind, bee free in life. You are fine, nothing has changed.
Although it was one hell of a story to tell.
I really wished you would change your signature. Even though your entire life has fallen apart infront of your eyes, you still havn't lost anything.
Failing is just a mindstate, you can move on. DXM is just a part of your life, you have not failed yourself, you have failed others. Bee free in mind, bee free in life. You are fine, nothing has changed.
Although it was one hell of a story to tell.
Well thanks phaze. But SWIM did fail himself. Terribly. And failing others is a very significant thing when those others needed you. Like a severely handicapped child. And this story reflects some of the repercussions.
The way SWIM feels is that when he dies the funeral should be a bunch of people standing up and telling about what a bad person and a failure SWIM was. Then they can take his ashes into the bathroom, pour them in the toilet...urinate on them and flush. Then they can have a big celebration dancing happily hand in hand in circles singing..."Ding Dong the Witch is Dead". Life is very serious business. Never let happen to you what happened to SWIM. SWIM ruined the only life he had.
Value Of Existence
04-09-2008, 02:26
Is your family completely out of your life now? Do you still communicate? Family should never be beyond repair.
^^
No cannot be repaired...My wife is with the SAVAGE now. And they are half way around the world.
Value Of Existence
04-09-2008, 02:35
Jesus Christ, it's crazy that I'm an alcoholic and you're not. I feel horrible for you, but there's just.. nothing comforting to say. Do you currently have a job?
tryptamaster
04-09-2008, 02:43
swim is so sorry for the dreamer. swim hopes through all his pain he will one day find the peace in us all and end his days happily.
The Dreamer
05-09-2008, 03:46
What about you're children Lobsang? Can you still talk to them? You do have children correct?
RoboCodeine7610
16-09-2008, 12:58
Swim would be really, really pissed off if they did this to him.I can't believe they did that to you...
Just check with a lawyer, maybe there IS something you can do about it.i mean that's gotta be illegal and just because the company stopped that doesn't mean it's any less responsable for it.
purplehaze
17-09-2008, 01:52
Well thanks phaze. But SWIM did fail himself. Terribly. And failing others is a very significant thing when those others needed you. Like a severely handicapped child. And this story reflects some of the repercussions. Yes you did fail yourself, but not intentionally. You were under the influence, wereas I believe your judgement would have been changed. I believe understanding the full impact of your obligations sober headed you would have been able to fulfill everyones expectations.
You seek relief, a legal relief was provided and you were weak. Can you forgive yourself for this? As for your wife, even though times were tough and sometimes ridiculous, unconditional love knows no bounds. I'm not a christian man myself and often question if monogomy is intended, but i do believe that by accepting responsibility and having one woman you love that it's understood threw thick and thin sickness and wealth the goodside the bad and everything between, the right person will love you regardless of what you do, and will always have you in there heart because they think you are so unique and special and perfect for them. So for her to leave and be with a "savage", is her failing you.
The child does not understand the world, you are the caretaker. I can understand how you can feel bad for neglecting the child, but know that it was a mistake, mistakes happen and life is full of them. Try the best to avoid mistakes, thats part of being an adult. Regardless of what you do they will still happen, no matter how hard you try. So don't beat yourself up to bad when something bad happens. Let it go, forgive, forget, move on. Try to live your life from were you are today, and tommorow, and the next day. It won't do anygood to mope and guilt trip yourself into believing that your a complete waste on this earth, because in my opinion life has no real meaning anyway, other than what we make of it. Remember emotions and feelings are all what we make them.
The way SWIM feels is that when he dies the funeral should be a bunch of people standing up and telling about what a bad person and a failure SWIM was. Then they can take his ashes into the bathroom, pour them in the toilet...urinate on them and flush. Then they can have a big celebration dancing happily hand in hand in circles singing..."Ding Dong the Witch is Dead". Life is very serious business. Never let happen to you what happened to SWIM. SWIM ruined the only life he had. Yet he is still alive and living it. If people talk badly about you at your funeral, that would dishonor them and shed negative light on there character. No one is a saint, so the man talking badly about you at your funeral should expect the same at his.
Furthermore, it doesn't matter, because this will be the day it is all over and flawed human judgement can no longer effect your emotions and self esteem.
More later.
piggyinthemiddle
24-09-2008, 18:10
Well thanks phaze. But SWIM did fail himself. Terribly. And failing others is a very significant thing when those others needed you. Like a severely handicapped child. And this story reflects some of the repercussions.
The way SWIM feels is that when he dies the funeral should be a bunch of people standing up and telling about what a bad person and a failure SWIM was. Then they can take his ashes into the bathroom, pour them in the toilet...urinate on them and flush. Then they can have a big celebration dancing happily hand in hand in circles singing..."Ding Dong the Witch is Dead". Life is very serious business. Never let happen to you what happened to SWIM. SWIM ruined the only life he had.
SWIM thinks he would like his funeral to be like that too.