Hello
23-01-2008, 02:08
Hello, My Marmoset has a story to tell, these are her words
"I'm not really a 'recreational drug-user' as I lack the money, but I have had my share of experiences. I'm here to tell the people here who may read this that clonazepam withdrawal is possible.
History:
I was prescribed 2mg daily clonazepam for anxiety by a doctor halfway through 2005. I was just passed 16 years old. After being fed 2mg Xanax on and off I enjoyed the not so sedating clonazepam plus the 'peace' it unnaturally brought me. New Years Eve of 2007 I finished my last 5mg diazepam daily, hoping to start 08' with a fresh, non-drug approach. I am successful and feel proud of myself. It's hard but you just got to fight out the fucked up withdrawal symptoms. I did it all by myself, my mother/father/brother/friends/ANYONE, did not know what I was going through, so not looking for sympathy here, I was very 'alone'. The thing is with benzo dependence, you know you're gonna be fucked, but you're so far into it, you simply don't care and continue to take the tablets, despite the clonazepam not working after 3 months of usage (in my case).
'True' Daily Dosage:
I was prescribed 2mg daily, I took on average 3-4mg daily, and once weekly around 6mg.
Withdrawal Attempts:
First time I was so disgusted by the weight gain/unhappiness clonazepam and almost daily 4mg Xanax use (although this was easy to come off as I substituted it with more Rivotril...), I decided to eat about 8 c-pam and 4-6 Xan. I ended up vomiting the pills up at 12ish night-time. The subsequent 5 days after that were hellishly intense, and that's no exageration. Day after day I felt an impending sense of doom, a whirlwind of 'pain and suffering', getting stronger. I was dizzy, vertigo, nausea, withdrawn, no clear thought, really scary dreams/mild visuals, headache, body doing weird shit and a feeling of everything was coming to an end. I gave in, got that bottle and took 2mg c-pam and felt better within 30 minutes to an hour. Never again I said. I tried abrupt discontinuation that lasted for 1 day before it called me again about 5 times. I came to realize that I was going to live with this tablet(s) forever. No use fighting with it, so my failure lasted for about 2 more years.
The successful withdrawal came at the beginning of the summer holidays after I finished yr. 12. I was running low on the med and decided I'm not paying more of my own fucking money to take a pointless tablet *in secret* from my loved ones. After the *first* 2 weeks of 'first stage' withdrawals, I was feeling better, but completely felt like my body/mind had been through a non-stop cycle of being in a washing machine then the dryer. That's my perception of the first 2 weeks. I also didn't have medical assistance, no-one to seek refuge in, no tapering plan and no-one knew what I was going through, which was the hardest part for me. The worst symptom for me was insomnia (which included having no way to tell dream from reality and these dreams were the most frightening experience in my life, they felt like they weren't going to end)/consequences of sleep deprivation. It really got me down, and I cried 2 days after the withdrawal symptoms came at full-flux. Anyway, after reducing from 3/4 tab. to 1/2 tab., I got help from 10mg diazepam to substitute .5mg clonazepam. I made it down to 10mg diazepam + 1/4 clonazepam. It was about 6-7 weeks after the initial withdrawal. The symptoms weren't as bad, still painful though, and I continued this scheme for 9 days, after which I would take 5mg diazepam for 3 days, then take no benzo. at all. The diazepam withdrawal really shook me up 2 days into 08', but I was feeling proud of myself, and I began thinking more clearer, of course with returned, stronger anxiety. After that last dose, I haven't take any benzo.
Conclusion:
In the long-run, the doctor who wrote the initial scripts was to blame for this shit. I wasn't 'shopping' for drugs, but merely an UN'lucky' patient who got an endless supply of dangerous drugs, unaware of side-effects til' only when it was far too late. There's nothing I can write to help those dependent on benzos. because all thoughts during the past few months have been erratic and lost. All I can remember is thinking in the back of my mind how good it would be when I'm clear of this fucking evil drug. Although benzo withdrawal hasn't got the worst withdrawal symptoms of addictive drugs, it's certainly pretty bad and challenging to mental health at times. To people who are doing it by themselves with nobody to help you, just live inside your mind. Keep reaffirming yourself. You will eventually win it.
P.S.:
Sorry if this is hard to read or is 'laughable' in terms of some members addictions/withdrawals here. I tried my best at writing down my account and tried hard not to write soppy shit so I can appeal to people's pity. Thank you anyway, it feels good telling someone about my little flirt my hell.
EDIT: Also, I have suffered a 1 hour 30 minute Panic Attack recently. It was at 12:30 in the early morning. I believe this is a result from withdrawal symptoms/external stimuli that played a role in provoking my Panic Attack."
"I'm not really a 'recreational drug-user' as I lack the money, but I have had my share of experiences. I'm here to tell the people here who may read this that clonazepam withdrawal is possible.
History:
I was prescribed 2mg daily clonazepam for anxiety by a doctor halfway through 2005. I was just passed 16 years old. After being fed 2mg Xanax on and off I enjoyed the not so sedating clonazepam plus the 'peace' it unnaturally brought me. New Years Eve of 2007 I finished my last 5mg diazepam daily, hoping to start 08' with a fresh, non-drug approach. I am successful and feel proud of myself. It's hard but you just got to fight out the fucked up withdrawal symptoms. I did it all by myself, my mother/father/brother/friends/ANYONE, did not know what I was going through, so not looking for sympathy here, I was very 'alone'. The thing is with benzo dependence, you know you're gonna be fucked, but you're so far into it, you simply don't care and continue to take the tablets, despite the clonazepam not working after 3 months of usage (in my case).
'True' Daily Dosage:
I was prescribed 2mg daily, I took on average 3-4mg daily, and once weekly around 6mg.
Withdrawal Attempts:
First time I was so disgusted by the weight gain/unhappiness clonazepam and almost daily 4mg Xanax use (although this was easy to come off as I substituted it with more Rivotril...), I decided to eat about 8 c-pam and 4-6 Xan. I ended up vomiting the pills up at 12ish night-time. The subsequent 5 days after that were hellishly intense, and that's no exageration. Day after day I felt an impending sense of doom, a whirlwind of 'pain and suffering', getting stronger. I was dizzy, vertigo, nausea, withdrawn, no clear thought, really scary dreams/mild visuals, headache, body doing weird shit and a feeling of everything was coming to an end. I gave in, got that bottle and took 2mg c-pam and felt better within 30 minutes to an hour. Never again I said. I tried abrupt discontinuation that lasted for 1 day before it called me again about 5 times. I came to realize that I was going to live with this tablet(s) forever. No use fighting with it, so my failure lasted for about 2 more years.
The successful withdrawal came at the beginning of the summer holidays after I finished yr. 12. I was running low on the med and decided I'm not paying more of my own fucking money to take a pointless tablet *in secret* from my loved ones. After the *first* 2 weeks of 'first stage' withdrawals, I was feeling better, but completely felt like my body/mind had been through a non-stop cycle of being in a washing machine then the dryer. That's my perception of the first 2 weeks. I also didn't have medical assistance, no-one to seek refuge in, no tapering plan and no-one knew what I was going through, which was the hardest part for me. The worst symptom for me was insomnia (which included having no way to tell dream from reality and these dreams were the most frightening experience in my life, they felt like they weren't going to end)/consequences of sleep deprivation. It really got me down, and I cried 2 days after the withdrawal symptoms came at full-flux. Anyway, after reducing from 3/4 tab. to 1/2 tab., I got help from 10mg diazepam to substitute .5mg clonazepam. I made it down to 10mg diazepam + 1/4 clonazepam. It was about 6-7 weeks after the initial withdrawal. The symptoms weren't as bad, still painful though, and I continued this scheme for 9 days, after which I would take 5mg diazepam for 3 days, then take no benzo. at all. The diazepam withdrawal really shook me up 2 days into 08', but I was feeling proud of myself, and I began thinking more clearer, of course with returned, stronger anxiety. After that last dose, I haven't take any benzo.
Conclusion:
In the long-run, the doctor who wrote the initial scripts was to blame for this shit. I wasn't 'shopping' for drugs, but merely an UN'lucky' patient who got an endless supply of dangerous drugs, unaware of side-effects til' only when it was far too late. There's nothing I can write to help those dependent on benzos. because all thoughts during the past few months have been erratic and lost. All I can remember is thinking in the back of my mind how good it would be when I'm clear of this fucking evil drug. Although benzo withdrawal hasn't got the worst withdrawal symptoms of addictive drugs, it's certainly pretty bad and challenging to mental health at times. To people who are doing it by themselves with nobody to help you, just live inside your mind. Keep reaffirming yourself. You will eventually win it.
P.S.:
Sorry if this is hard to read or is 'laughable' in terms of some members addictions/withdrawals here. I tried my best at writing down my account and tried hard not to write soppy shit so I can appeal to people's pity. Thank you anyway, it feels good telling someone about my little flirt my hell.
EDIT: Also, I have suffered a 1 hour 30 minute Panic Attack recently. It was at 12:30 in the early morning. I believe this is a result from withdrawal symptoms/external stimuli that played a role in provoking my Panic Attack."