What to do? addiction

blackdb1 · #1 13-12-2007, 08:33

Swim has posted many times here about his addiction problems. Now swim most recently (week ago) got kicked out of mothers house, making things alot worse. His main addiction is opiates. It has been for 3 yrs now. He was just 2 days clean off of opiates and swim got caught with mary jane by father who is very anti drug use. His father was on swims ass about it cause he knows swim has had drug problems for a while. His father was talking about kicking him out which would leave swim nowhere to go but the streets! His dad said if he can get his shit together he can stay. Now swim was physically and psychologically addicted to oxy/opiates and for 4 yrs had been smoking pot everyday.About 3 months ago swim fully detoxed off opiates. Still was smoking bud, popping benzos, snorting focalins,etc. Now swim hasn't been physically addicted to opiates since then, but never got the mental part out. He can't be sober he must be high on something plus his daily weed. Because swims dad caught and alot of other stress relapsed. Fu@#$ng sucks
He will be taking no more opiates, from here on hopefully! But swim posted a thread in Benzo sub-forum not to long ago asking if people thought he needed benzo's. 90% said def not a good idea because then he would get addicted to those. He was told by swianotherforumer that he should try kava and buspirone. He will still try the kava for his anxiety? The buspar says possible weight gain (swim was really fat a couple yrs ago) and many people have said that it didn;t do anything for the anxiety. Does swiys think that if swim got some sleeping meds from the doc for his insomnia and quit the pills and then pot that he would eventually get the anxiety and stuff to goaway after a while? If not how long after being sober should he wait to consider benzos? There are so many different ways to go but swim is so confused as to what to do! Please respond! For now swim will stay off the oxycodone and opiates but needs to know what to do so he can get ajob soon, quit being so unmotivated to do anyhting, and much more!

blackdb1 · #2 14-12-2007, 12:07

Somebody please give advice! Swim is doing things he swore he'd never do. His addiction isn't as little as he thought it was. A couple hrs after waking up today swim started getting some physical w/d, not NEAR as bad as the past w/d's but definately way uncomfortable. Swim resorted to doing some heroin for the first time. Swim liked it quite a bit, it's the only opiate swim personally thinks is as good as oxycodone and hydromorphone. Swim felt more of a body high than oxy plus a very clear head high. Swim still is determined to be sober in the coming weeks! He is going to give quitting opiates 100%!! Swim has also done methamphetamine 4 or 5 times in about 9 days! He had done it twice about 3 yrs ago but thats it until now. Today he did meth most of the day he sniffed and smoked it. Then he went off to try H for the first time. Swim popped 20mg hydrocodone 45 min. prior to the tar. Swim went through a quarter gram of black tar heroin between himself and 2 others. Swim then popped his last 15mgs of hydrocodone and smoked some bud just now. Hopefully swim is typing alright because he's still high. All this drug abuse is bothering swim really badly because he wants to quit he just gets so emotionally torn up, but that's going to pass and swim will get sober. He's going to quit opiates first, smoking weed and taking xanax for the first 3 days. Then smoke for another 2 weeks before going sober. Swim would go crazy if he quit everything at once. Anybody out there have opinions on if I should try to get on anti-depressants before quitting because swim is very depressed and anxious? Should swim consider maybe quitting evrything but getting on suboxone? Any replys swim will greatly appreciate it, he HONESTLY just wants to get past this addiction!

Fight Club · #3 14-12-2007, 20:26

I think its great that you want to quit. Why don't you try it exactly the way you suggested first? I think you need to do this, because it sounds like you are new to this, and you don't know really know anything about what it takes to get clean and stay clean.

After your approach fails, and you are thoroughly convinced that you don't know how to do it yourself, solicit the advice of professionals, or someone that has been where you are and has recovered from addiction.

I hate to be the first one to say it, but you are not ready yet.

FC

blackdb1 · #4 15-12-2007, 01:41

What makes you think swim is not ready? He knows he will have to change 100% and of course isn't there yet or hed be clean. He might be fooling himself about wanting to be clean just to prolong useage? Swim really has NO idea how he could live sober and knows it's possible, he just thinks maybe it would be a better decision to go on buprenorphine maintenance and get important things done that need be. Swim is 20 yrs old no GED, diploma, or job. This makes him feel very low! Anymore insight appreciated!

Homegrow3r · #5 15-12-2007, 03:18

Your friend appears to see a problem with drugs while at the same time looking for the solution in drugs.

savingJenniB · #6 15-12-2007, 10:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackdb1

Somebody please give advice! Swim is doing things he swore he'd never do. His addiction isn't as little as he thought it was. ... Swim still is determined to be sober in the coming weeks! Swim has also done methamphetamine 4 or 5 times in about 9 days! He had done it twice about 3 yrs ago but thats it until now. Today he did meth most of the day he sniffed and smoked it. . . . All this drug abuse is bothering swim really badly because he wants to quit he just gets so emotionally torn up, but that's going to pass and swim will get sober. Then smoke for another 2 weeks before going sober. Swim would go crazy if he quit everything at once. Any replys swim will greatly appreciate it, he HONESTLY just wants to get past this addiction!

I'm writing this reply in blue - because I'm trying to stay calm & compassionate ~ in effort to say something positive: I hope you live long enough ~ I hope you get clean enough ~ I hope you have enough brain cells left to be embarrassed by your self-absorbed attention-seeking rants & raves.
You "HONESTLY' want to quit?
Then STOP!!

Seems like swiy has been going from dumb (opiates) to dumber (meth).
Please - please - please stay away from the meth. You want help?
You need help --- Meth will kill you- meth will not help. Waiting to hit rock bottom before you quit?
Death is rock bottom. Keep doing what you're doing - you'll get there.

Swiy needs to be seen by a doctor - a physician who treats mental & physical disorders.
Let your physician choose some drugs for swiy.
As Fight Club said, "solicit the advice of professionals."
Swiy needs help - real help - not attention or detention from Mommy & Daddy.
Not attention from other druggie friends. Not attention from us.
Swiy needs medical & psychiatric help. Please go to a doctor or check yourself in to a hospital.

And don't say that swiy cannot afford to go to a doctor.
3 posts in 3 days and swiy has consumed $$$ hundreds of dollars of drugs.
No job, no GED - education, no home? Who is paying for all of this?
I hope swiy lives long enough to realize that swiy is going to pay - one way or another - for every little bit of it.

I hope this helps. You are a good person who deserves to be loved - deserves to be alive - deserves to be self-confident.
Keep thinking it and you can make it the truth.
_______
"When the Power of Love Overcomes the Love of Power the World Will Know Peace."\
Jimi Hendrix

blackdb1 · #7 15-12-2007, 11:09

Swim actually doesn't want to start crap but swis seems pretty damn arrogant! First off attention seeking ranting and raving? Swim must have been misinformed because he thought this was a harm reduction site? Not somewhere to bash someone because they use "dumb" drugs. Swim is very ashamed of his use as posted earlier. As for meth swim used it before opiates and hadn't touched in years, swim will not be using this substance anymore and really doesn't care to! Swim thinks many other swimmers would take offense to being called dumb for using opiates, which there are MANY. Swiy honestly sounds like he hasn't had any addiction problems in the past so probably doesn't know how it creeps up on you, but swim isn't sure of this? People don't just act dumb and get hooked it gradually happens. Swim is definately not saying his choices in life were good, but he's not an idiot. As far as the substances swim uses, he works for father and makes a little $ but the meth is pretty much just thrown swims way by using friends. Oxycodone swim gets free because of a script that someone doesn't need. The H was thrown down with a buddy a few bucks each. Swim hasn't went over even near a three digit amount of $! Swim doesn't want to come off as an ass but wants to be led in the right path to sobriety without being talked down upon as he hears enough from family and friends let alone how damn bad it bugs swim everyday of his life. Swim appreciates the concern and honestly wants nothing to do with meth! The opiates can be dealt with but swim has never gone stone cold sober for more than 2 days without something. Swim knows he CAN DO this. So swis thinks swim should seek a physician? What would a doc most likely do for swim? And again swims not tryin to be an ass but doesn't like it when people talk down on him, what is that going to gain him? He just wants anyone preferably swimmer who has been through similar problems and are living life sober now to see what they did to succeed. Thanks all in advance

savingJenniB · #8 15-12-2007, 20:35

Be kind to yourself and others will follow.
Peace!

Fight Club · #9 16-12-2007, 16:28

blackdb1 - It really stung when someone told NIK the same thing 2 1/2 years ago. You see, he had been trying to do recovery, NIK's way for 3 years, because he always felt that he knew himself better than others did. And why souldn't he? After all, his deepest darkest secrets, fears, and insecurities were his and his alone. Who could possibly be in a better position to sort things out than NIK himself?

The problem with addiction is that it is our egos, personalities, character defects, and the incomplete emotional development that got us to where we are today, not the drugs all by themselves. To believe that the mind that got you there is the one best suited to get you out is flawed reasoning.

You can stop drinking and using drugs by sheer willpower, and that will work for a while if you are lucky. Problem is, however, that the same things that pulled you towards increasingly frequent drug use will pull you there again unless you are willing to change YOU. That can not be done alone.

NIK was lucky enough after tiptoeing around the fringes of sobriety and recovery for three years to have found a rehab facility that helped him find his way. He was lucky that he actually followed the advice they gave him, which included attending 12-step meetings beginning the day he got out; finding a temporary sponsor (the rehab alumni association has people ready to do this); and having a loving and supportive family.

After 21 months of sobriety, NIK has finally learned to place his recovery in the hands of GOD, which, to him means his sponsor, his friends in the "program", his family, his community, and people all over, some that he knows and others, like SWIY, that he does not know the might possibly benefit from the good things NIK does when he isn't drinking and using.

Please PM me if you would like to know more.

FC

savingJenniB · #10 16-12-2007, 22:13

Thank you FC for putting it in words so very very well.

My aunt has been clean of Meth now for 5 months, 15 days and counting. She says she struggles with it everyday. She considers herself very lucky because she has kind wonderful supportive family & friends. My aunt did not consider herself an addict for 11 years. It wasn't until two of her very good friends went to jail / rehab / etc. that made her look in the mirror and see the junkie she had become.
________
"When you live outside the law you must be honest."
Bob Dylan

blackdb1 · #11 25-12-2007, 00:05

Swim fully detoxed himself 8 days ago and decided that he needed professional help. He called his old psych's office and told them what was going on and that he didn't have health insurance or a job. They told swim that he can get free counselling, psychiatry, and group meetings. He couldn't get in until day after christmas but definately liked this place more than the other one he checked out so decided it was worth the wait.
Swim has relapsed twice back onto opiates, but hasn't given up. He is 100% dedicated to get clean and live a happy sober life! He never thought it could be this hard at all! He is excited to get into this program. He is going to probably going to try to geton some anti-depressants. Swim also thinks group meetings will help immensely with the counseling also helping to find the underlying problem that caused the addiction.
Swim just wonders about how long it will take to have a significant mood increase? He just feels so low and depressed he doesn't feel happy doing anything sober. He hopes it won't take a long long time just to enjoy life again?
Thank you all swim appreciates the help very very much!

dogzz · #12 25-12-2007, 00:29

Believe it or not, swiy's dad is trying to help swiy. Swim has to agree with what was said earlier, swiy seems to be looking for a drug answer to a drug problem. swiy might need somethin along those lines.....but to do it right, it is a docs decision. Kudo's for seeking out the treatment, swim hopes swiy follows thru and finds the life swiy seeks. Day after christmas eh? sounds like a christmas gift to swim, make it work, by working the program. Make swiy and swiy's dad proud. It feels like crap to not be in control of ones life, and having that control back is something only other addicts who've gotten clean understand.

JaWill88 · #13 25-12-2007, 00:37

yeah swim is in the middle of detoxing from buprenorphine. its a bitch. he is on like day 6 or 7 now. but the thing is swim got perscribed a bunch of benzodiazepines (clonazepam 40ct) and some tossed to him by friends (alprazolam). the amount swim had should have lasted him about 20 to 25 days, but it didn't. swim has like 2 more clonazepam and 1 alprazolam. swim consumed all this in like 4 days. no drug is easier to take more, and more, and more of then benzodiazepines. they are a really good thing to stay away from when one is prone to addiction. opioid addiction slowly creeps up, but benzos?!?!? its way more fucked up. stay away.

blackdb1 · #14 25-12-2007, 00:42

Swim sees that his father is just looking to help him out now and was in a completely different mindstate when he created this thread. He sees now that he had been telling himself to get off this he would need that and vice versa. But self-medicating has gotten swim nowhere as of now and sees he was just lying to himself to avoid his problems.
Swim is sure the psych will give him something for sleep and the depression and anxiety. Now he sees that benzos or something alike probably isn't the best option.
Swim wants to go FAR in life and enjoy it to the fullest. Not be held down by the drugs!

dogzz · #15 25-12-2007, 01:55

What a great Christmas Gift to give swiy. Swim wishes swiy all the very best.

blackdb1 · #16 25-12-2007, 02:53

Swim appreciates all the help! He knows he's giving himself a good present and that it will eventually pay off.
It's just that now he is sitting here X-mas eve with family and all he's doing is moping round the house feeling bad for himself. He is surrounded with SO much love and support and all he can think about is going to score some drugs! This makes swim feel very shitty and low. He keeps putting himself first it seems like?
Right now swims father and brother are wanting to open presents at swims dads house, but all swim can think about is going out to get high! The thing is swim was expecting some cash for the holiday season since he is SO broke but he didn't get any. So now swim is sitting here wishing he had money to go get drugs instad of spending quality time with loved ones who are really giving 100% to helping swim get over this. This just makes him feel like he doesn't deserve the great family, the roof over his head, food, etc.
Well swim is leaving to go spend time with father and bro right now since he knows that is the best thing and is very thankful for it.
Swim once again appreciates everything if any other swimmers ever feel this way swim would feel alot better about the situation.