Living with amphetamine cravings 24/7

[izzy31]

SWIM feels like hes going insane from speed cravings - every two weeks or so he'll get really amped and then spend the next two or 3 weeks feeling absolutely nothing but the desire to do it again. problem is, its become less available and more difficult to aquire. he can barely function! all he's able to do is obsess over plans and thoughts about getting some! but he cant! and he cant take the cravings lasting weeks and weeks like this! ALL HE FEELS IS ANXIETY AND PARANOID DELUSIONS OF WHERE SPEED MIGHT BE! HES CHECKING PLACES ALL AROUND THE HOUSE OVER AND OVER AGAIN DESPITE THE FACT THAT THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO SPEED IN THE HOUSE!!! he does stuff like check the same spot a dozen times knowing there is nothing there but is unable to stop looking! he knows hes being completely ridiculous and that his actions are entirely illogical but its pretty much totally involuntary!

he was about to go search for some in the attic, which he hasn't even been in since he started using speed, but still hopes to find something!!!

what the fuck is wrong with SWIM????

[stoneinfocus]

This happened to swim, too, he thought he´d lost a packet of speed on his way home, and every time he went this way, he checked every spot if he´d find it again, even after months.

He was in a situation in which essential things in his life were missing, beside the speed, which was and is in fact a great help in getting into the right directions for swim, but he was tied to this stuff too much and in an insane matter, which nobody realized though, but was very demanding on swim.

When he paused with the drugs and did more sport he never exhibited such a psychotic delusions again, if you could call it like that.

he just realizes, that everything just works a bit better on speed, when he has some and feels ít´s an essential and rudimental drug, that shoud be at best always around, ... he still can´t get it, why it´s forbidden, and everything goes worse and worse without it, like life´s passing away, without swim being able to do the things he wants to.

Good luck and I hope this post helps you a bit.