How do you feel when you don't have amphetamines

[izzy31]

How does SWIY cope with everything when they DONT have it? SWIM believes using speed does have a potential positive effect, but problems seem to arise when SWIY doesnt have it - tasks seems much more difficult than they really are. Even with non-excessive use and maintaing a normal routine (going to bed every night, eating normally even if SWIM isn't hungry, ect) and taking sober breaks ever now and then (which are at least a week or more without it), SWIM feels down and less compelled to do things.

[Nicaine]

Originally Posted by izzy31

How does SWIY cope with everything when they DONT have it?

Isn't that the problem with all drug use, trying to cope with NOT having it? LOL. In SWIM's opinion there's only one way -- quit for awhile, then one's natural energy and motivation will come back (at least to a large extent). Then use much less often after that.

If it's a genuine issue with depression, it might be worth at least trying to quit speed completely and go on antidepressants for awhile. That could bring back normal mood & energy levels.

[stoneinfocus]

true, why geting off anyway? fortunately swim had never had to cope with depression or lack of energy when coming off, so to him it´s pretty much no issue in not having it, to him it´d be more like missing someone you´d like to see and enjoy from time to time, a lack of diversity...

otherwise Nicaines right maybe before trying the anti-depüressants, try dong some sports, energy will come back to a greater extend than expected, while doing it (endo-drugs do wonders, you would never believe while, missing them and doing no sports, it´s just not giving up for at least 20-45 minutes to resolve the deepest depressions within swim ;-) )

[xanthracks]

^^what SWIY said...

oh yeah.. try when ur coming down a nice sized bag o cock; and do it cold turkey... it's the only way to get back energy levels... sleep depervation can be and is very damaging

[Nicaine]

Originally Posted by xanthracks

oh yeah.. try when ur coming down a nice sized bag o cock; and do it cold turkey... it's the only way to get back energy levels... sleep depervation can be and is very damaging

SWIM has had serious problems with sleep deprivation recently (both chronic/long term and acute) and he can attest to it taking a horrible toll on both the body and mind.

[stoneinfocus]

I think the damaging effects of sleep deprivation are exaggerated, although it feels like hell and is, seemingly, sometimes the most unpleasant emotional hell, with time standing still, it´s nonetheless more a cosmetic problem, that, in normal men, is resolved within the time it takes to cure a serious hang-over of an alcohol intoxication.

You´re just prone to take it too serious, when you´re feeling that bad at that moment or think back of it and are then prone to accept some exaggerating propaganda, but there´re some rare illnesses where peolple don´t get sleep for months or years (!), without that much damage done as one might expect, from the feel a few weeks binge gives; they can live pretty much "normal" in the sense of their sickness.

Having the will to fight for a strong physique, rather than sitting it all out in front of the TV, with benzos, cigarettes and a booze, pays in the end psychologically and physically, of course. (just because you use speed or stims in general you don´t have to look like the crystal meth hell walking the earth).

Sides of any medication can be seriously reduced by an adapted and intelligent lifetyle, e.g. swim takes doses of corticosterroids that are well over the cushingoid threshold, because he has asthma and it helps for his pain, but he isn´t fat, nor does he has a full-moon face or the typical cushingoid side-effects, becuase he couteracts the sides within his lifestyle and adapted drug-use to minimize dose and sides.

[izzy31]

Now SWIM knows what happened - he started doing it to help with his concentration and at some point he forgot about what it feels like to live life off the drug and didnt realize he was only doing it to feel the high (everyday) and so he tried to enjoy normal things but just found that no matter what he'd only want more and more when the whole reason he started was to do better in things he used to care about like school and other stuff. He started only functioning when he was high and whenever he was out of speed he just slept as much as he could because he didnt want to deal with anything. SWIM realizes how addicted he really is and it's overwhelming. SWIM think's he might have a drink. Or perhaps a panic attack.

[humdroid]

SWIM has left the speed alone for a bit too and has had major depression and a general "NO thanks" to life.
This was sparked by high tolerance and resentment of self for using too often, and this is why SWIM still dosent fancy a bomb, even though there is a dependency issue with SWIM.
Being mindful of the fact that low moods, apathy, tiredness are part and parcel of "non-speed days" and also keeping that much coveted "Speed free week" in sight is what is keeping SWIM off the speed. SWIM needs to know they can be without speed so running out isnt a crisis in future, also SWIM stopped enjoying it as much due to feeling fear of dependance.
The biggest irony is that SWIM needs to eat when speeding as not eating makes SWIM ill.
SWIM is finding it hard eating while not on speed, but is assuming appetite will come back soon.
Depression is what keeps SWIM thin, and SWIM put on two stones once the speed habit (small) took hold a couple of years ago. This was due to increased motivation to cook and increased enthusiasm of food.
Speed isnt the way though, as increased use has caused weight LOSS in the majority of people.
The comedown symptoms are NOT permanent, but speed users have to accept some decrease in the things speed appeared to help, the important thing is keeping positive.

ps although tempting, alcohol is not a friend. It increases negativity and paranoia in SEIM. Supplements and easy to eat but nutritious food is where SWIM is at. Supplements for mood (have a google and also read readers reviews to see which supplement you fancy)

[lyndon]

swim hasn't stopped taking phet as yet! and has a habit going back nearly 20 years.....
i work, have comfortable home life, i have been engaged for 13years & both me & girlfriend
are perfectly happy with that...and a family that is aware of swims habit and help swim by giving
swim rations on daily bases so swim dont cane the lot....

swim admitted to swims self long ago that swim was a speed freak and always will be swim dealt with and accept this swim knows the pro and cons swim is 37 and knows he will be lucky to get to 45/50....

the scary thing is swim has accepted this death sentence all for the love of speed.....
swims brother is also phet head of 20years and due to chemical imbalance he has is now
under mental health and the doctors say he has either bi-polar or has hasbergs.
but when on phet he's perfectly normal and capable of normal things without phet what is
left is a pathetic depressed hyped up excited rampaging phsyco i'm scared stiff of stopping..
what if due to phet i'm not well after..

i can tell that due to 20 yrs phet abuse i'm not the same person that i have mental health
problems now-ish...
what mean is i know i'm not ok there is perminant damage not in a fruitcake way i mean
swim know my thinking and thoughts are not me and i'm aware of this when it happens

swim is content for now as swim has reliable supply of phet which has not let swim down in 20 years...but swim would love to be able to wake up in morning and be capable of choice.....
people take choice for granted... the no.. not today or yes.. i fancy dabble....today..

instead phet controls my thoughts / actions swim day revolves around phet down to were go and what do depending on what amount left.every waking thought involves phet.....

swim girlfriend does support him while doing phet...but she is not aware of how shit scarred swim is about not stopping or stopping . about the future swim wants to be able to be dad ave own family settle down with the lady that has stuck by swim through out no matter what

[cyndi]

Swim is struggling with this issue right now. She has good and bad days, today bad. Well her life used to be revolved around scoring and using so that was a tough pattern to break. She was so whacked out in the end she wasn't doing anything anyway so she really gets more done sober. She is struggling with depression so no answer there. Addiction tells her to do it and she will be "happy" when that isn't really the case. Others say find nonsober happy things, well still working on that one. Her life is chaotic right now. She doesn't honestly think meth will make the situation better really worse. Presently yeah she is going thru a bad craving so trying to work thru it.

[humdroid]

Good Feelings

Swimmy gets full of herself the longer she goes with out base.
She lets it get to her head and every time she feels down she says in her mind "well, at least that stuff isnt here
She can wee properly eventually, and her back stops aching.
Her feet and ankles empty their water after a few days off, and she can put on her shoes again.

Bad feelings

Swimmy seems less grounded.
Swimmy rushes around.
Swimmy is obsessed.
Swimmy is given to sudden flashes of rage turned inward.
Swimmy is tearful.
Swimmy cant be arsed.
Swimmys food goes straight through her.
Swimmy loses weight, as the base is not there to motivate her to eat.
Swimmy gets depressed and anxious.
Swimmy fears she may turn back into a stoner as speed stopped spliffy.