rodgereric
01-10-2004, 11:53
hey. not sure why im writing this. i suppose its because im coked up and bored. its 4:41 am. i have to be at a clients office at 9.... i not going to sleep. no way.
ive got a disposable plastic cup full of jack daniels bourbon (gross)with ice thats been filled about 3 times- andan ashtray overflowing with around 2 and a half packs worth of cig butts.
'glamorous'.
thats always the word that comes to my mind as im hovering over a giant rail- trying desperatley to inhale hard enough to get the shit u pin my dope clogged nasal cavity- knowing all itll do is keep me awake longer.... no big rush... no interesting conversation... what the fuck is going on here? just stop thinking and wait for the plate. yeah.... glamorous....
i really wish i understood my gravitation to the drug.... i know itll cost me money i dont have... i know itll fuck up my sinus.. i know ill have to drink a lot or slam some downers to come down... then wake up totally hungover..... and broke... with a lovely blood crusted nostril.....
but the show must go on.. alas thegreat mystery asks me to follow- and i do of course- back into the meat grinder... lame! its just like clapton said- 'she dont lie'... the fucking truth...
so where does that leave me? well- i wont be doing any more coke tonight- maily because im out... tomorrow ill regret having done it- and half ass swear to ditch the shit for good.... but i know better.... sure, ill be like 'oh shit.. why the fuck did i do that last night?'... and then four hours later a friend will call me to meet for drinks- ill have a few and then boom... pick it up where you left off dumbass....
anyway- luckily i dont have a daily habit. i still make it to work on time....still get the job done... no one knows... except me. i know. and for some fucking reason that really gets me off...
what the fuck?.....
ive got a disposable plastic cup full of jack daniels bourbon (gross)with ice thats been filled about 3 times- andan ashtray overflowing with around 2 and a half packs worth of cig butts.
'glamorous'.
thats always the word that comes to my mind as im hovering over a giant rail- trying desperatley to inhale hard enough to get the shit u pin my dope clogged nasal cavity- knowing all itll do is keep me awake longer.... no big rush... no interesting conversation... what the fuck is going on here? just stop thinking and wait for the plate. yeah.... glamorous....
i really wish i understood my gravitation to the drug.... i know itll cost me money i dont have... i know itll fuck up my sinus.. i know ill have to drink a lot or slam some downers to come down... then wake up totally hungover..... and broke... with a lovely blood crusted nostril.....
but the show must go on.. alas thegreat mystery asks me to follow- and i do of course- back into the meat grinder... lame! its just like clapton said- 'she dont lie'... the fucking truth...
so where does that leave me? well- i wont be doing any more coke tonight- maily because im out... tomorrow ill regret having done it- and half ass swear to ditch the shit for good.... but i know better.... sure, ill be like 'oh shit.. why the fuck did i do that last night?'... and then four hours later a friend will call me to meet for drinks- ill have a few and then boom... pick it up where you left off dumbass....
anyway- luckily i dont have a daily habit. i still make it to work on time....still get the job done... no one knows... except me. i know. and for some fucking reason that really gets me off...
what the fuck?.....