View Full Version : trying to recover coke
Swim s 28 years now and using coke 6 years now, every weekend. the classical case of an addict. Low self esteem, depression, not many friends lonely, feeling lonely and not loved, and social fobic...then the coke came along.
It repressed his fears which made him go out and make friends for the first time in his life. it worked. it worked really well. after those 6 years and looking back on his life, it makes him really sad. He has built up a life nobody knows about. for the outside world he is an easy going person, friendly funloving normal person who likes to go out.... Cocaine really made him way less fobic in social situations, which allowed him to build up a social life. Cocaine makes him now really depressed, passive, sucks away his confidence and ability to enjoy being around people, and also really suicidal. it scares him. In those years his psychological problems where not taking care off and became probably much worse due to this use. He still feels so empty, not loved and all, while he knows people like him, some likes him a lot.
Most people know that he s struggling with psychological issues but no one knows about his addiction. its a heavy load to carry, He wants to tell someone, a friend or so but he is scared for the reaction. People find out he s been lying to them for a whole lot of years and probably try to remember situations like partys, birthdays and stuff and wondering if he 's used cocaine there as well. He does know that dealing with this addiction alone is so hard, the hardest thing ever.
He is trying to recover know with professional help. He is also on the waiting list for a psychiatrist. but still, it feels like he s doing it all alone. People he cares about dont know a thing. he probably doesnt want to upset them but it makes him feel terribly alone.
He manages to keep away from coke for two weeks, two weeks max...than the intens craving starts again. He s got psychadelics (anti psychotic?) from his phycisian to help him repress those cravings. Will those help him?
has anyone experience with those drugs? there are probably a lot threads about how to repress the craving but still...
maybe anyone can help him to deal with them. Should he confide this to someone? The support from one or just telling someone is probably a big relief and can help him. he really doesnt know what to do
thanks for reading
J
Detox yourself for 4 weeks alone. make no contact with people that SWIY associated to cocaine. Anti-Psychotics might replace SWIY addiction. If its to hard on SWIY own then he needs to check himself into an inpatient rehab center.
I would say besides the professional help start going to CA or NA. I say this because your on a cliff looking over the edge. Been there.
SWIY should first ask himself very seriously: does SWIY want to quit more than he wants to use? If the desire to use is stronger, it may be a hopeless case. Yet more painful experience can swing the balance.
Cravings never hurt anyone. SWIY needs to try sitting out cravings and will be amazed to watch them vanish in minutes and come up less & less often as time go by. He/she will gain control and it won't be such a big deal anymore. It's an amazing thing to learn that not only do cravings NOT need be acted upon, but that they feel sort of cool and interesting if you concentrate on them.
SWIY should seriously consider an antidepressant. Wellbutrin / bupropion is a good choice for a former (not current) coke addict. Using cola on top of it can cause seizures.
SWIY should tell someone, but only after he/she has quit. Accountability to others is a powerful motivator. In fact, tell lots of people, so the guilt of starting up again outweighs the cravings. No guarantees, but it should help quite a lot.
It can be done. Whether any kick is permanent or not is always up in the air, but that's a fact of life for anything that we have enjoyed doing that we want to stop doing. Over time though, bad memories build up and begin to counterbalance the good ones. A relapse with accompanying pile of guilt is one such example.
P.S. SWIY have already taken the first step. He *has* confided to someone, albeit strangers on a message board. Now time for the next step -- figure out if SWIY can take a big risk and step into the unknown of giving up something that has felt good and sustained him for so long. With no guarantees of a wonderful life as a result, either. If the answer is yes, then one of the better first steps with cola is to get totally out of the area for longer than two weeks, i.e. visit relatives in BooKoozville Ohio where a person can't get it. Or start going to NA/CA meetings (helps with the aloneness feeling too) at least for awhile, so there's something to do instead of using. Good luck.
Cravings never hurt anyone. SWIY needs to try sitting out cravings and will be amazed to watch them vanish in minutes and come up less & less often as time go by. He/she will gain control and it won't be such a big deal anymore. It's an amazing thing to learn that not only do cravings NOT need be acted upon, but that they feel sort of cool and interesting if you concentrate on them.
I’m sorry but that is not true for all drugs. Some more serous drugs the cravings will never go away they just get less intense. Ask any professional or a long time crack, meth, or heroin user. It also depends if you have an addictive personality.
I’m sorry but that is not true for all drugs. Some more serous drugs the cravings will never go away they just get less intense. Ask any professional or a long time crack, meth, or heroin user. It also depends if you have an addictive personality.
OK, true for some people (not all), I stand partially corrected.
Anyway, here's my main point: A craving is a physical sensation, with an associated thought or series of thoughts. Nobody is driven beyond their control to act on it... but it does take some personal experience and learning to figure this out, & I don't really want to argue with anyone who disagrees.
However, for those who do disagree... have you ever felt thirsty as h*ll in the middle of the night, enough to wake you up? But you were too lazy to get out of bed and just fell back asleep? Point.
I’m sorry but that is not true for all drugs. Some more serous drugs the cravings will never go away they just get less intense. Ask any professional or a long time crack, meth, or heroin user. It also depends if you have an addictive personality.
SWIM was a meth abuser for awhile, the first 2-3 nights Swim physicall addiction was body effects of head going back and forth like in spun when they snort a line. If you have a problem with cocaine dont do any hard drugs. You'll get sucked into that world of the deadlies. SWIY needs rehab if its hard to get off coke, what SWIM did was say fuck this, need something stronger, turned to METH and Heroin, and Prescription drugs. and this after going to rehab for meth. Guess SWIM cant let go of the rush and pain when he snorts a fat line of crystal. Ahh sorry influencing SWIMS addiction and Z bar is taking over. Na meetings are too depressing but really do help cus there is always someone else who has a worse addiction.
tomorrow its been 4 weeks since the last time SWIMM used. The craving is still there, but less i guess. My antidepressants are increased and makes him really tired all day, which makes him not social, which makes him less wanting C... BUT i feel better each day. Some emotions are really euforic...sometimes i feel a sense of hapiness when i finally can enjoy a moment without feeling the burden that brings me down. Sometimes i really believe in a future without being depressed and feelings of unhappiness...i havent felt this in a long time.
On the other hand i m more scared and nervous then ever and i avoid most social events, or just stay for a short time. Its more lonely now but i dont feel really lonely..yet.
I ve just been to France on holiday with friends for two weeks. I thougt about taking some cocaine with me but eventually i didnt. The first day was terrible, i was anxious, aggitated, and not feeling sociable at all, while feeling the pressure to have fun with the other guys. The idea this lasted the whole holiday made me panic. Fortunately I felt better over time but the cravings were intense sometimes, and i couldnt just run away.but i took my psychadelics with me to help me overcome those cravings.
i m so proud of myself that i didnt take some cocaine with me, in case of need.
i still told nobody but i feel more confident to do so now. Maybe it is easier to tell someone when you really try to quit as was suggested.
" Accountability to others is a powerful motivator. " I keep that in mind, hopefully i find the courage to share it with people i know.
i feel its finally turning for the better, very slowly.
thanks for your replies.
Nagognog2
07-09-2006, 22:42
Keep going. It's not supposed to be fun. You're doing it right. And you should be proud to "ride the tiger."
Hope things work out for SWIY.
SWIM has also had issues with coke on & off for the past two decades, including smoking it heavily at times. It's beginning to become known that coke can cause permanent damage to the brain's dopamine neurons, and SWIM can attest that without it his dopamine appears to be chronically low (lack of motivation and drive, obsessive-compulsive symptoms, anxiety, depression, fatigue...). It has helped him in the past to take Wellbutrin (increases dopamine) and he really only feels "normally motivated" anymore on stimulants of some sort. Otherwise he will often just sit around by himself doing very little, which feels to him like a normal state of affairs.
http://www.cocaine.org/reward/pleasure.html
So... not to alarm SWIY, but be on alert (which you already seem to be) for potential psychological issues that may be permanent, or at best fade over a long period of time and require long-term treatment with antidepressants. It's a chicken-or-egg situation -- many coke users are probably "self-medicating" brain chemistry issues, or maybe coke is causing or worsening the issues for them.
In any case, SWIM's ultimate life philosophy is that things are as they are and couldn't possibly be any other way -- therefore, acceptance is the road to peace.