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Mayor: 'Stop pestering me for sex'
A mayor who set up a direct hotline for people to call with civic problems is asking bored housewives to stop inviting him round for sex.
Cristian Anghel, mayor of Baia Mare in Romania, claims he had more than a hundred calls in the last week from women declaring their love for him.
He said many come straight out and even invite him round for sex, local daily Libertatea reported.
Mayor Anghel said: "The number was meant for complaints but some women took it as a sex hotline.
"I hear declarations of love and some have even made erotic proposals to me.
"I can understand these ladies have desires but their kind of problems need to be solved somewhere else, not at the Town Hall."
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Homeless teenager finds £2,750 prize
A homeless Kenyan teenager found a £2,750 treasure hunt prize while urinating in a Nairobi park.
Evans Kamande, 17, found a small gold-coloured box, with a piece of paper inside, between the forks of a cactus.
Evans, who cannot read very well, had no idea what he had found - until a passing student read it for him.
The document, the student explained, declared the bearer to be the winner of the top prize in a local radio station's treasure hunt.
KISS 100FM official Amar Vipyarthi said: "When he brought the voucher, we believed him. He was excited and shocked.
"We will definitely give him his prize and it's up to him to choose how best to spend the money."
Kamande's first thoughts were for his mother, who works as a housemaid in Nairobi.
"I want my mother to have a good life, buy a piece of land and build rental houses," he told the Standard newspaper.
(From Manda: And isn't that sweet, he thought of his mother. Is my mother was poor, so would I! But in reality if I won that cash, I'd buy some stash....)
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Man fights off bear then shoots himself
A hunter who managed to fight off an attack by a 700-pound bear then almost killed himself when he tripped over his gun.
Marin Cogev, 55, was hunting in woods near Milkovica in Bulgaria when he was attacked by the bear from behind.
The bear tried to crush him with its arms but he managed to hit the animal on the head with the butt of his shotgun and then fired a shot in the air.
The bear released his grip and ran away. But when Cogev turned to go after the bear he slipped, tripped and fell and his gun went off. The bullet grazed his head and he passed out.
A fellow hunter who found him after the attack said: "If the bullet had gone a few millimetres the other way he would be dead.
"It's amazing he managed to fight off such a huge bear and then tripped over and nearly killed himself."
The bear was later caught and shot by a team of hunters.
Local media reported Cogev was recovering in hospital after an operation on a punctured lung and broken ribs sustained when he was crushed by the bear.
Blind car thief strikes again
Police have arrested Romania's blind car thief for stealing a car and crashing into a tree for the second time in one month.
But this time, Alin Prica, 24, managed to drive the stolen car 25 miles before crashing into a tree, reports Adevarul newspaper.
Prica allegedly stole the car with another blind pal and a sighted friend in the passenger seat telling him which direction to drive.
A police spokesman said: "He drove the car following instructions from his friend who could see.
"But again the journey ended with a crash. We were astonished for the second time in a month by this same man."
Earlier this month, Prica, from Izvoare, in southwest Romania, stole a car and managed to drive it for almost a mile by himself before smashing into a tree and knocking himself out.
He said at the time: "I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do anything I wanted - despite my handicap. I only crashed because I was not sure of the way home."
Police said they would not press charges against the two teenagers who helped but have taken Prica in for questioning.
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Why is this funny? Blind people are funny to you?
serotonin
03-12-2004, 19:43
i don't think manda believes that blind people are funny. but i'm pretty what was implied is that it's hilarious that a blind person would steal and drive a car around.
which is funny, in fact hilarious. especiallysince theperson did itTWICE!http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/smileys/smiley36.gif
Expecially seeing he had someone who could see with him! Its like hey I can see just fine but you go for it it'll be funny, I'll tell you when to turn. That guy gots some balls.
To Maxmoe- I am really sorry if I offended you in any way. I hadn't even read the part in the article which said "I just wanted to do what normal people could do." until now. That part is a sad, small voice.
There is this site I go to that posts "humorous" articles from around the world that I got these articles from.
In short, the blind boy and his friends just sound like normal kids getting into trouble, trying to grow up faster than necessary.
Blind or not, he knew the law and the risk, and took his chances. When you break the law, it puts you in a position to be judged by many.
His friends are the ones who should have been there for him, saying, "No, man, it's not worth it." Like we should be for each other if someone suggests something crazy.
Geese guard prisoners
Four jails in Brazil are using geese to help prevent prisoners from escaping.
The prisons, in Sao Paulo's Paraiba Valey, say no inmates have escaped since they brought in the geese.
The geese are kept in areas just inside the prison wall and make a lot of noise whenever anyone goes near them.
Idalecio Pereira Campos, director of Tremembe Prison, told Terra Noticias Populares: "When I was a child there were wild geese that would run after me on a nearby farm.
"That is where I got the idea from, I thought that the geese would do great in the prison, and they do!"
END OF ARTICLE
Judge wins right to be called 'Your Honour' - at home
A Brazilian judge has won the right to be called 'Your Excellency' or 'Your Honour' - even outside court.
Judge Antonio Marreiro, from Rio de Janeiro, went to court and won his case, reports Terra Noticias Populares.
It means that his neighbours in his apartment block can address him only by the formal titles - or risk a court fine.
However, Judge Marreiro's request has shocked the president of the Brazilian Lawyer's Order.
President Octavio Augusto Brandao Gomes said he found the judge's request "totally insane".
He said: "We are all human beings. No one in this life is better than the other just because they have a title.
"When I see absurd requests like this winning in court I wonder if people like this judge do not have anything better to think about or to accomplish!"
If I was his wife, I'd tell him two words... "Get Fucked."
If I was his neighbor, I'd just ignore him like he wasn't there.. What an egomainiac freak!!!!!
OneDiaDem
04-12-2004, 05:15
Some people are their titles. He obviously has serious "self" issues, lol. A title is not going to get him any more respect than he was given before, less in fact, for being such an obnoctious ass.</font>
I wish a gang of roosters was all that kept my bro from freedom- I'd sneak them food, so they'd shut up, and over the fence he'd be.... in my dreams.
Yeah, titles suck. Officer??? They suck!!!
Hmmm!
"Honorable Woodman, ..." No!
"THE Most Honorable Mr. Woodman, ..."No!
"Noble Woodman, Sir, ..."No!
"Most benevelent Woodman, ..." noo!
Damnit!
I'll have to figure this out later.
Soap changes name to save blushes
A soap opera in Germany changed its name after broadcasters realised the initial letters spelt out ANAL.
TV channel Sat 1 had originally called the soap Alles Nur Aus Liebe, which roughly translates as Everything for Love.
But because German viewers often shorten the names of their favourite soaps, broadcasters realised people would have called it ANAL.
The new series will now be broadcast under the less offensive name Verliebt in Berlin, meaning In Love in Berlin.
Edited by: manda
FrankenChrist
18-01-2005, 21:42
Using geese as alarm goes a long way back. Even the Romans used them for this.
Richard_smoker
14-04-2006, 01:24
AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS
INTERNATIONAL SHIT" ON INTERNET
Web's Increasingly Worldly Flavor Threatens Americans' Worldview
PULLMAN, WASH. (SatireWire.com) — The profusion of international news available on the Internet has made it increasingly difficult for the average American to ignore the rest of the world, a trend researchers say threatens Americans' long, proud history of disregarding anything not about them.
"With all the foreign newspapers and multi-cultural sites, the Internet is making it almost impossible for the average American to remain uninformed and apathetic," said Samantha Lessborn of Washington State University, which conducted the survey. "Americans can still do it. But it now takes effort, whereas before it was as easy as turning off Tom Brokaw whenever he said 'In South Korea today...'"
http://www.satirewire.com/images/international.jpg
According to survey participant Danny Grisham, a 22-year-old from Cheyenne, Wyoming, it's not just the plethora of international news on the Web that is irritating. "Look, I can get around the news. I just turn off Reuters headlines in MyYahoo," he said. "But even some of the search sites like Yahoo and Alta Vista are available in different languages. Like everybody in the world doesn't speak English. Yeah, right."
"I can see where it's important if we're, like, beating some country in the Olympics or bombing them or, ideally, both," Grisham added. "But if some Colombian drug lord sinks a ferry full of Israeli soldiers in North Latvoania or Serbo-Malaysia, or wherever, and Americans aren't involved, what has that got to do with me?"
Other respondents said they were appalled, not just by the availability of non-U.S. news, but by the way important U.S. news is reported by some of these foreign sites. "Yesterday, for instance, the St. Louis Rams beat the Atlanta Falcons, OK, and I go to the London Times site and it's not even there," said Chip Pernadge of Kansas City, Mo. "Jesus, no wonder those guys lost the war and had to give Hong Kong back to Canada."
Sensing a market opportunity, Net Nanny, makers of Net Nanny filtering software, announced this week it will introduce NetNarrow, an English-only product that automatically filters out content that appears to be international. Specifically, the software looks for world datelines and keywords indicative of irrelevant foreign stories, including "Shiite," "post-Apartheid," and "Bob Geldof."
Survey-taker Craig Barker of Brooklyn, New York, said he will be among the first to get NetNarrow. "On the Web, there are so many ways to get news from so many different places, I could really get some fresh insights into what's going on in other countries if I wanted to," he said.. "But I don't want to."
"You'd think these Internet people would know that," Barker added. "I mean, that's why the Internet is called America Online, right? It's supposed to be about America."
Editor's Note: It seems that after reading this entirely fictional story, some investors/customers of Net Nanny believed the company actually was going to produce NetNarrow software. As a result, Net Nanny asked SatireWire to please assure people that this is not the case. No, really.
Check out this idiot, lol:
MONTCLAIR, Calif. -- Workplace safety officials say they're planning a visit Wednesday to the Montclair home of a man who dug a 60-foot-deep hole in his front yard while digging for gold. Monclair is in San Bernadino County, about 90 miles northwest of San Diego.
They're coming to determine how to shore up and fill the hole that 63-year-old Enrique Mora says he began digging ten days ago after his gold detector reported a positive hit near his front patio.
He says he only planned to go down three or four feet but got "carried away."
Fire officials called to the scene Tuesday found two men that Mora hired inside the unreinforced hole, using a bucket and rope to remove dirt.
Montclair fire Captain Rich Baldwin says officials made him stop and fenced off his property. He says Enrique will be required to hire and pay for a licensed engineer to secure the hole.
http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/9370622/detail.html
Sitbcknchill
19-06-2006, 15:44
It never did say wether the man had found any gold or not....
Now that could make a good stashing place. lol.
I wonder what the real story is.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6370991.stm
17.02.07
Cargo cult lives on in South Pacific
By Phil Mercer
BBC News, Tanna, Vanuatu
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/shared/img/999999.gif
At the base of a sacred volcano in an isolated corner of the South Pacific young men play the "Star Spangled Banner" on bamboo flutes.
Every February they parade in old US army uniforms with wooden weapons.
Others go bare-chested with the letters "USA" painted in bright red letters on their bodies.
Nearby, a giant Stars and Stripes flutters in the breeze from the main flagpole.
This is the heart of John Frum country on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu.
Villagers at Sulphur Bay worship a mystical figure who they believe will one day bring them wealth and happiness.
Time of upheaval
"John is our god," declares village chief Isaac Wan, who beats his fists into the ground to emphasise his words.
"One day he will come back," he says.
Believers are convinced that John Frum was an American.
The name could well have come from war-time GIs who introduced themselves as "Jon from America."
Devotees say that the ghost of a mystical white man first appeared before tribal elders in the 1930s.
It urged them to rebel against the aggressive teachings of Christian missionaries and the influence of Vanuatu's British and French colonial masters.
The apparition told villagers to do all they could to retain their own traditions.
Anthropologist Ralph Reganvalu told the BBC that the sect was a "cultural preservation movement" that was born during a time of upheaval.
"There was a whole period in history known as Tanna Law where the missionaries put in this series of rules about what people weren't supposed to do and the movement emerged because of this oppression," he said.
Homage to the US
World War II and the arrival of US troops on Vanuatu was a defining time for the movement. They had a name for their spiritual deity. He was John Frum.
Villagers believe that their messiah was responsible for delivering to them the munificence of the US military.
They were awestruck by the army's cargo of tanks, weapons, refrigerators, food and medicine.
John Frum day is held annually on 15 February. This year's celebration marks the 50th anniversary of the sect's formal establishment.
It also recognises the day when villagers raised the US flag for the first time.
Through this homage to the US, disciples hope their ethereal saviour can be encouraged to return.
"It's a little bit weird but it makes me feel really patriotic," said Marty Meth, a retired businessman from New York, who had travelled to Tanna to see the festivities.
"It's really nice to see Americans welcome here since in so many places in the world we're not so welcome these days," he added.
Waiting and hoping
Sulphur Bay lies in the shadow of Mount Yasur, an active volcano whose roar can be heard far away.
Many followers of John Frum believe his spirit lives deep within the volcano.
Every few minutes Yasur bellows.
Watching and listening from the crater's edge is both exhilarating and frightening. A deafening growl is followed by the blasting of molten rock high into the sky.
These rumblings are a constant reminder for villagers that the spirit of John Frum remains as potent as ever.
About 20% of Tanna's population of 30,000 follow the teachings of one of the world's last remaining cargo cults.
Other islanders can barely disguise their contempt for it.
A Christian youth worker told me how he thought the cult was childish. "It's like a baby playing games," he insisted. "Those people are holding on to a dream that will never come true," he said.
I put this view to Rutha, who's married to Chief Isaac's son. She was unfazed.
"I don't care what they think," she says gently without a hint of displeasure. "John is our Jesus and he will come back."
The John Frum Movement is still trying to entice another delivery of cargo from its supernatural American god.
In the meantime his disciples continue to wait and hope.
........................................
A Christian youth worker told me how he thought the cult was childish. "It's like a baby playing games," he insisted. "Those people are holding on to a dream that will never come true,"
Said without a single hint of irony.
Nagognog2
18-02-2007, 09:26
I am reminded of one of the movies in the Planet of the Apes series. The one where a small society of humans is living underground and worshipping a hydrogen-bomb. Not to far from the truth in my book.
radiometer
22-06-2007, 22:05
http://www.tvsquad.com/2007/06/21/identity-thieves-target-herman-munster/
Identity thieves target Herman Munster
Posted Jun 21st 2007 1:59PM by Paul Goebel
Filed under: Celebrities
Identity thieves doing business online were taken in by a fan of The Munsters when they were offered the personal information of Herman Munster.
It seems that the the online criminals are based overseas and is the reason they didn't recognize the famous name. Along with the name, the thieves also purchased his address, 1313 Mockingbird Lane and his birthdate in 1964, the year The Munsters premiered.
The bogus information was likely received as a result of a phishing scam pulled on a victim who not only knew better than to give up personal info online but also was a fan of The Munsters.
Herman Munster was played by Fred Gwynne on the series for it's entire two year run.
So let this be a lesson to all you would-be scammers out there. If you're going to try and steal from hard working Americans watch a little TV Land first.
Nagognog2
22-06-2007, 22:51
And Gomez Addams is mine - ya heah!
~lostgurl~
02-08-2007, 09:14
Threads merged.
~lostgurl~
27-05-2008, 05:12
Something fishy about theft
27 May 2008
NZCity News
People might get more than a meal if they eat fish stolen from a Ruakaka Research Centre in Northland.
Thieves scaled the two metre high fence at National Institute of Water and Atmospheric Research centre last Friday and took a number of fish.
Michael Stobart, NIWA Regional Manager, says the haul may include fish which had been injected with oestrogen and other hormones for a study on sex reversal. He says a missing eight kilo hapuka had been dosed with a cocktail of chlorine, formalin and peroxide.
Police have no suspects and are appealing to the public for help.
http://home.nzcity.co.nz/news/article.aspx?id=85666&fm=psp,tst
For more stories like the ones previously posted in this thread, bizarre funny sorts of things, check out the quirkies section of Ananova (http://www.ananova.com/news/lp.html?keywords=Quirkies), its always good for some laughs.
For example:
Shark attacks teen in bedroom
A Dudley teenager has survived being bitten in the face by a shark - in his own bedroom.
Sam Hawthorne, 14, was 'attacked' when he sleepwalked into a long-dead souvenir shark hanging on the wall, reports Metro.
He was left with the creature embedded in his cheek and blood pouring from a wound.
His mother, Susan Hawthorne was woken by her son's screams but arrived too late to fend off the holiday souvenir.
She said: "It was like something out of a horror film. The shark must have been embedded in Sam's cheek for about 15 minutes and he was in a lot of pain."
Sam, who escaped with just a small scar, added: "It was the most frightening experience of my life."
or....
Woman married Berlin Wall
A Swedish woman with a fetish for inanimate objects has revealed she's been married to the Berlin Wall for 29 years.
Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, 54, whose surname means Berlin Wall in German, wed the concrete structure in 1979, reports the Daily Telegraph.
Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who has been diagnosed with a condition called Objectum-Sexuality, claimed she fell in love with the wall when she first saw it on TV as a child.
She began collecting "his" pictures and saving up for visits. On her sixth trip in 1979 they tied the knot before a handful of guests.
While she remains a virgin with humans, she insists she had a full, loving relationship with the wall.
Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who lives in Liden, northern Sweden, said: "I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy.
"The Great Wall of China's attractive, but he's too thick - my husband is sexier."
While the rest of mankind rejoiced when the Berlin Wall was largely torn down in 1989, its "wife" was horrified.
She's never been back and now has only model to remind her of "his" former glory.
Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who has shifted her affections to a nearby garden fence, said: "What they did was awful. They mutilated my husband."
:p